Wandering Thoughts

Win some, lose some. Well, mostly lose some.

2011-03-09T08:46:00.000-06:00

Loss #1 Buying picture frames is shopping... whaaaat?

I considered my shopping resolution carefully, and have now added on home decor to the list. I get these ideas that I "need" stuff. I need new boat shoes. I need a computer desk. No, I need a smaller computer desk. I need more frames for my wall. I need new dog toys. Well, maybe I don't want to cut the dog toys all out, but they have a pretty big pile of toys already!

I want less stuff, but I keep buying more! It is a ludicrous problem! I will conquer the 'stuff''. And probably save up some money in the meantime (bonus!).

Loss#2 Meatball sandwiches for dinner and writing my prospectus for graduate school required a glass of wine.

You know, I have made this choice very simple for myself; it should be black and white. We don't drink alcohol and don't eat junk food, ie. Godiva dark chocolate truffles (heavenly!), and we get ~~skinny~~ fit enough to wear our bikini in public ~~and not scare away small children.~~

Buuuut, life isn't black and white. And who wants to live a life without dark chocolate Godiva truffles and red wine? Not me. Will try to persevere with goal to not consume alcohol, but not at the cost of losing that delightful hour where I have a glass of wine and even prospectus writing becomes thoughtful and inspiring.

Tricky, very tricky. It's a fine line.

Maybe I'll say one glass of wine with dinner allowed for health (mental and heart).

Trying

2011-03-08T09:54:00.000-06:00

I decided to NOT be productive and to NOT cross anything off of my Sunday "To-Do" list, so I spent most the day trying to eliminate clothes from my closet.

I found about 2 shirts and an old pair of pajama pants that I was willing to part with.

Absolutely ridiculous.

Obviously, I have a long way to go on the wardrobe cleansing.

Still have over 300 days to go, so there's still hope!

I do have a confession, I had to buy 2 bras yesterday, but that was a necessity because I didn't have any that didn't show through my shirts!

Besides my closet cleansing, I am starting a 40 alcohol fast for Lent. I don't really drink excessive amounts of alcohol, save for the occasional Mardi Gras parade where I forget gin is not as hydrating as water, but I do drink 1 - 2 alcoholic drinks a day. Gin and tonic while cooking dinner. Glass of red wine with dinner. Bourbon and ginger ale and an episode of 'Bones' or 'How I met your Mother'.

I am trying to get ready for bikini season, so I figured I could ditch those extra 300 calories or so and increase my progress. Plus, detoxing the old body is never a bad idea.

Might be slightly hard because I have a conference that is very "social" to go to next week, then there is St. Patty's Day and, oh yeah, MY BIRTHDAY! I had planned to have a steak and a nice bottle of wine for my 29th; might be the exception to the rule. We'll see.

An experiment

2011-03-06T08:57:00.000-06:00

I have too many clothes. I have always had too many clothes. Too many clothes and nothing to wear- that is me. I have so much stuff I don't even know what I have. I like to shop... a lot. I seriously love a sale- I will buy things I only kind of like because they are on sale. Its a problem.

So my challenge to myself is to buy no clothing for one year. I'm gonna go ahead and say from now until just before my 30th birthday next March.

Shoes are included in this, with the exception of replacing running shoes that are worn out.

This is a huge deal for me, and to make it legit, I wanted it publicly declared. It will be hard, but I can do this. And my life will be better for it.

Living the dream

2010-09-02T20:42:00.000-05:00

It is funny that when life gets busy, interesting, exciting- it gets hard to make writing it down a priority. I have seen and learned so much this summer about the ocean, the world, life, myself; but I haven't written any of it down! How will I remember how I felt, what I was concerned with, what it was like to be here in this time? I won't is the answer. I easily have one of the worst memories in the world! At least when it comes to recalling events from the past. I don't know any of my teachers names from any school level; except for one or two very special ladies.

I feel very blessed by the Universe these days. How fortunate I am to be able to do what I love! It occurs to me that I am blessed to know what it is that I love to do with myself. Some many people just don't. I don't know if they don't ever consider what they might like to do? Or if they feel too encumbered by the day to day to go out there and get what they want from the world? I think many people are afraid to look for other options. If they are unhappy, they just stick with it and wait for retirement. Or whatever that mystical hurdle is that they can't see past.

Certainly, in life they are challenges that we all have to deal with to get to our goals. Sacrifices to make. Things that stand in our way and sometimes block the light at the end of the tunnel. There are bridges to cross, or burn, or build. But, many people do find a way. I believe there is almost always a way to make your life into what you want it to be. It is on all of us and in our own capable hands to find our happiness. To grab the world by the cajones and demand a joyful, fulfilling existence. If we hate our jobs, we can tell our boss to suck it, and then go find something we like better. If we are lonely, we can get a dog. If we are flabby, we can exercise. If we are uneducated, we can learn. If we need a change, we can make it. If we want the world to change, we can start with ourselves and be it. It might be trite, but "Be the change you want to see in the world" is a pretty solid idea.

I am blessed because I have found what I love to do. I would do what I do for free, shit I practically already do! If I was a billionaire, I would be doing what I am doing right now. I hope and wish for everyone to find the same joy from their lives. Everyone has something that makes them happier than anything else, the hard part is doing it. Whether it is just a question of time or money or obligations, you can't deny your passion. There is always a way to make your life into what you want it to be.

When I find joy in something I had forgotten about, I always think of quote from a silly movie. In '13 going on 30' Jennifer Garner says something akin to, 'we need to remember what used to be good because it still is'. That makes happy. Real movie quote below.

"I think all of us want to feel something that we've forgotten or turned our backs on...because maybe we didnt realize how much we were leaving behind. We need to remember what used to be good. If we dont, we wont recognize it even if it hits us between the eyes."

And a bonus quote from the same movie:

"I know Ive made a lot of mistakes, but I dont regret making any of them...because if I hadnt made them I wouldnt have learned how to make things right. "

Absentee blogger

2010-07-26T20:34:00.000-05:00

I am busy.

From this poll, news I only wish was true:

I write like
Kurt Vonnegut

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Mmmmint julep

2010-06-06T19:47:00.000-05:00

Didn't take a lot of pics in NoLa this time. There will be many more weekends. It was lovely and relaxing though. Gotta lot of work done for school, and maybe had a mint julep or two...

Busy lil' bee

2010-06-05T13:39:00.002-05:00

Moved into lovely yellow house in Ocean Springs, Mississippi.

Started work as a graduate student.

Doing research for thesis in New Orleans this weekend.

Finally have internet at home, so I'll be back soon.

Life is good right now, real good.

Do better guy.

2010-05-01T11:18:00.002-05:00

Quote from a seafood industry guy about oil spill in Gulf, "Petroleum and seafood," Bates said, "do not go together."

Um, they are animals, millions of them. Please, at least in this moment of desperation, acknowledge that they are animals, who have important roles to play in threatened ecosystems, which also play important roles in our little world. We should perhaps be more concerned presently with the loss of irreplaceable natural habitat, than the loss of crab cakes.

This disaster will be no doubt greatly effecting my life directly, as it is posed to destroy the very ecosystem I am supposed to be studying in one month. I am getting paid to work on subtidal oyster reefs, they are sessile animals, they can't exactly move out of the way. If they are coated with oil, they will no doubt die, as will most of their inhabitants. Like our friend here, Mr. Blue Crab.

I will do better later this week!

2010-04-25T20:46:00.000-05:00

But, for now-

I am moving to Mississippi in about one month. Just gotta pass my finals, pack, find a house and drive 750 miles!

I have a roommate! I am excited! This means all my money won't go to rent! And, bonus, he sounds really great! He sounds like we oughtta get along great! Here's hoping!

And now: dinner, sleep, study, study, study, test, test. On Wednesday, the world is a little easier for me!

Still bullet brained

2010-04-18T15:32:00.000-05:00

My mom said I got my love of travel from her. Thanks mom, one of her best genetic gifts!
Pops called me "highly adaptable". I agree and think this is perhaps from his genetic contribution. It also felt like praise and it makes me feel wonderful when I receive praise from a parent. Guess I am still a child eager for parental approval.
I accepted the offer of an assistantship at the University of Southern Mississippi. So, unless something changes or goes wrong, and they might, I am moving to Ocean Springs, MS at the end of May. Kind of exciting, but I am still skeptical that this is a solid plan. I get my official offer the first week of May. When I get that, I will pop open the " I know where I am going to grad school champagne" my sister bought me for Christmas.
Finals approaching. Have two Physics tests in next two weeks and am not thrilled. Must pass though, so I can never think about Physics again!!!!!!!
Time to study Physics....

And yet...

2010-04-17T10:03:00.002-05:00

-at the same time, I do really want to go to school. I have worked so hard and now have a free Masters waiting for me. The facilities there are amazing, the lab is in the middle of the forest, the town is beautiful!

I really wish I knew what the right answer was...

Unsettled

2010-04-17T09:26:00.000-05:00

I can't think these days. Too many big choices, can't put together thoughts in my brain any longer. I am hoping this passes soon. For today, bullets:

My back has been killing me! Makes everything more difficult.
I have been offered a fully funded fellowship at a beautiful school in Mississippi.
Unless I change my mind, I am turning it down because the cost to move there would be financially crippling at the present. I am thinking I need to work for a few years before I attend graduate school. I will make this final decision on Monday.
I applied for a couple of jobs in the Corpus area which are exactly in my field, except...
I am thinking I am almost certainly going to teach next year. I talked to schools here and feel confident I can get hired at one, except...
My sister teaches middle school science in Austin and wants to see if she can get me a job at her school. I would have to leave the coast, which makes me sad. However, I could stand to spend at least a year in closer proximity to my family.
I am planning to go to El Salvador in July. Booking my ticket as soon as I am sure I am not accepting the science job in Corpus.
I am eating leftover pizza for breakfast, but it is homemade, whole wheat so I don't feel that bad about it.

Change of heart

2010-04-11T10:47:00.000-05:00

I think I don't want to go to school next year. I really want this job I applied for in Rockport!!! I am not bragging, but my application looked awesome! I put a ton of effort into it and I will be quite surprised if I don't get an interview.

So now, I am studying fish furiously for the interview. I want to blow them away and get hired! The position closes in late April, so I should hear in early May about an interview. Suspense will kill me!

I would be great at this job! Cross fingers, toes and legs!!!

Fast Forward

2010-04-06T16:35:00.000-05:00

Seriously, this semester has been a whole lotta yuck! Five more weeks to freedom! Which is good because I don't care about anything anymore.

Current opinions:

Gonna get into a graduate school?
-eh, whatever.

Gonna pass all my classes?
-meh, maybe not the Calculus

Gonna move far, far away?
-man, I just wanna relax a bit

The current verdict?
Probably will go to the University of Southern Mississippi, permitting I get in and am offered the project I want. UNLESS, I get offered a job first.

I couldn't tell you what I want anymore. I am too tired and just over the whole situation. Enough already! I would be a happy lady to get one of the jobs I am applying for here in Corpus. They pay well, are exactly in my field and I wouldn't have to pay double rent in June. Both would give me the opportunity to move to another area of the coastal bend, which is a change and would be good. Both new places are closer to the water.

Soooo..... we wait some more. Bleh.

Cliff Hanger

2010-04-04T09:48:00.000-05:00

Will I get a job? Or will a graduate school come through with an offer of funding first?

Do I stay in Texas? Or will I get to escape her ironclad grasp?

How long do I have to wait for answers?

Stay tuned, I guess.

If it weren't me, I'd change the channel already.

Jobby jobs

2010-04-01T17:02:00.001-05:00

I applied for 5 today. 2 in this area that I should have a very good chance of getting!

Now, can something please pan out already?

Suspense is getting old!

Excited!

2010-04-01T07:46:00.000-05:00

The prospect of getting a job is getting me all a twitter! I really want this job in Houston that I am applying for. It sounds inspiring! Submitting my application today!!

Woo woo!!!

Take that painfully slow graduate funding committees!!

:)

plankton

2010-03-31T22:55:00.000-05:00

That is what I am these days, planktonic larvae just floating on the current.

It seemed for a while that I would have more graduate school options than I could shake a stick at, but funding keeps shutting me down, and I am sick of waiting for something concrete to pan out! I have been working at getting into a graduate program where all is paid for since at least August, about nine months. Basically, I am sick of the whole mess.

So, I have started to look for jobs. I have found about five so far, spread throughout the southeast US. My applications should be submitted by Friday.

Will I go to graduate school? Will I get a job? Will I stay here and waste a few more years? Time will certainly tell.

All I can do is wait, drift with the current, and go where it takes me. Exciting. Scary. Frustrating. Relax, be plankton, go with the Universe- it will take us where we need to go.

*sigh*

Think plankton...

Quick thought.

2010-03-21T15:07:00.000-05:00

I like to drink a lot.

I love trying new flavors.

I am captivated by the art of making a perfect cocktail.

I love talking with friends over a drink.

I love opening a new bottle of wine, or champagne!

But, I don't like being drunk.

I spent three days in New Orleans last week and not once did I cross that threshold, which seems crazy because we did drink quite frequently on the trip. Being drunk just feels yucky to me, and let's not even mention how miserable a hangover makes me!

I'd be so happy to spend the rest of my life never once being drunk again. The problem I encounter is what I started with: I love to drink for the ritual and experiences! Most times that I have drank too much has been the result of forgetting I have the alcohol tolerance of a preteen!

That's all.

Getting closer!

2010-03-08T18:52:00.000-06:00

Wow! It's March! By the end of this month, I should know where I will be moving in July!

The options are so diverse and a bit scary! One feels comfortable, that is in Mississippi. I know I would like living here. I know what to expect here. I know the climate. I know the food, the lingo, the music- I feel comfortable with the whole idea. I know it would be relaxed, and I would fit in, and it would be great! But, that's kind of boring and I have other scarier options out there.

Such as Maine, which is definitely, maybe, interested in having me. Or Virginia, which was my "Out of My League" school, so why are they engaging me in conversation and taking me on a tour of their facility next week? Massachusettes- which is still a complete mystery to me. And Seattle, who may just be too cool for me after all.

All in all, I am tired of wondering and ready for answers! But, I am trying to regain my sense that this move will be exciting- a new place! Very new, and probably not comfortable. There will be growing pains. I will feel discomfort.

I just have to get the energy to keep pushing the professors I am talking to so they don't forget about me! It has been a marathon looking for a graduate school, but it would be silly to give up now- I am almost at the finish line!!!!!

Lame.

2010-03-04T20:49:00.000-06:00

I don't think I can afford a vacation, even a wonderfully cheap one, when I am moving to a new city (yet unknown) a week after I would return.

I forgot about things like apartment deposits, pet deposits, moving trucks, possibly still having to pay rent in Corpus for a month after moving (double rent in June! Yuck!)....

I can't exactly take a vacation and then call up my parents begging for money to help me move. No, that would be really, really lame.

Almost as lame as not getting to take an amazing Mexican vacation, but sadly not quite.

Honestly, moving is gonna tap me out.

So, my much needed and hey, deserved, vacation is postponed. Hoping for August, but maybe as late as October. Postponed, but not canceled. Never give up on your dreams, I have wanted to take this trip since as long as I can remember- and it is happening this year! Just not in May, not before I move.

Lame.

All nice men are still stupid boys

2010-03-04T20:40:00.000-06:00

-says my sister, and she is a smart lady.

I wanted to know: Do they act better? Do they mature? Do they grow out of it?

No, she says, no. They never do. She called them silly boys. I call them stupid boys. They amaze me in a good way. And then they disappoint me. And then they amaze me again.

But, that's men for you.

I am just glad I am not a lesbian because I would rather deal with stupid boys, than crazy bitches.

;)

Sorry women of the world,

2010-03-02T15:20:00.000-06:00

While you have all been working hard to keep advancing the status of women everywhere, I have been doing the opposite.

You see, I discovered today that when I want men to agree with me more easily, I use a baby voice, ala Marilyn Monroe or (yikes!) Paris Hilton, and I put on that cute "I am not sure in the world, please help me strong man" face.

I was surprised to realize, after thinking about it some more, that I do this all the time. You do attract more flies with sugar after all, so I doubt I will be changing my ways.

"I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it."
— Marilyn Monroe
;)

More quotes from the blonde bombshell:

"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition."

"Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world."

"We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets."

"Sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together"

Should be...

2010-03-02T11:17:00.001-06:00

studying Physics, but I am so sick of it!!!

In ten days, I will be headed off on a Spring Break adventure.

Stop 1- Houston, staying at old roommate's new loft in downtown. Sounds pretty fancy, hope me and my science nerd gals are cool enough.

Stop 2- New Orleans!! 1 night, city tour for my friend who hasn't been before, lots of walking and sight seeing.

Stop 3- Ocean Springs, MS, checking out a grad school, staying in the dorms. Next day at the beach, then back to New Orleans for 2 more nights of having too much fun!!! Some swamp hiking included.

Stop 4- home, ever so briefly, then off to Virginia to check out another grad school.

It's gonna be a whirlwind week!!

Tired.

2010-02-28T08:06:00.002-06:00

I am seriously tired. I haven't been able to get up on time for the last week or so, and so I haven't gotten to workout every morning. This perpetuates this evil cycle where I am just tired, always.

I have a huge Calculus test on April 19 which determines if I actually graduate or not. It's pass or fail and it is all on me to get my studying done. This is weighing on my mind a lot, and I think compounding how tired I have been feeling.

So today, I work on Calculus, get exercise, get into bed by 10pm and wake up at 5 tomorrow to work out! These things are happening, better get moving.

Only one thing could sidetrack me.... I fear my fridge is broken! Still keeping up hopes it'll suddenly spring back to life. If it breaks, this is my second broken fridge in a year! Bonus, it is totally stocked. I just filled the freezer with meat and the fridge with veggies. Here's hoping I spend today studying and not moving my food to friend's houses.

Trip dreaming

2010-02-27T12:11:00.000-06:00

Well, Mexico City is out- unless you count a lay over in the airport. I am sad because I really want to go there now! The history, the art, the giant-ness of the city... Oh well, now I have a new place on my list to visit.

The Mayan Riviera is in though. For one sweet, sweet week in May, I will have nothing to do, but breathe all day. *sigh* I cannot wait!

There will be pyramids, scuba diving, white powdery sand beaches and a lot of tacos!

Come on May!

Willie Nelson 'n' me

2010-02-25T22:29:00.000-06:00

-we have a date, tomorrow night. I can't wait! He is amazing! I saw him about eight years ago.. much too long in between. A living legend, for sure. His voice makes my soul tremble...

Cookin' up Some Wanderin'!

2010-02-25T10:47:00.000-06:00

I love to travel, anywhere and everywhere! I always envisioned myself globe trotting, but it has never panned out exactly as I thought it would. Things like bills, obligations and dogs have gotten in the way and I never set out to roam the world freely.

Now, do not think your girl has given up hope, oh no, I do not believe in giving up! However, sometimes we must delay our dreams, but we should never stop thinking, "Someday I will." For me, when I gave up my job as a travel agent to go back to school, I knew I was giving up any hope of travel for a few years and I was ok with that because I knew the end result would be worthwhile.

But, now it is ending! And I am planning, which is my favorite thing to do! Where am I planning to roam to?

Well, these things can morph, but the current idea is to fly to Mexico City and spend a day. Then fly to Cancun, rent a car, and drive down the Riviera Maya stopping at hostels where you can rent a hammock under a palapa for about $12 a night. Then spend a few days scuba diving, exploring ruins, kayaking, and relaxing on the beach. Back to Mexico City for another day of exploration, and then home to the doggies I will have missed terribly!

I am SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is on a budget on less than $700 and will be my first international experience in hosteling. However, the hostel in Mexico City looks amazing!! I will post pics later as planning becomes cemented. There is so much to see and do in Mexico City, I have considered leaving out the Cancun part!

Choices, choices, choices...

2010-02-11T20:18:00.000-06:00

I am sick of them! I don't want to make them. I will stomp my foot and pout if need be.

Pivotal, life-changing decisions are not my specialty. When I moved to Corpus is went something like this:

Impulsive: "I am quitting my good job as a travel agent and going back to school full-time! Now, where can I get in so last minute?"

Got into A&M-Corpus.

"No wait, I want to go to A&M, Galveston because they are supposed to be a better school. So, I will apply there."

Got into A&M, Galveston. Visit Galveston to find an apartment. Two days later visit Mom at beach in Corpus. Lease an apartment in Corpus. Decide I am moving to Corpus for school (ya think?).

Back to the present, two and a half years later, it is approaching decision time again, but this is on a much bigger scale and will ultimately greatly effect the next decade of my life. This time where to move involves a few new twists:

#1- Leaving Texas. No way around it. Could be as far and different as Maine, or as close and familiar as Mississippi.

#2- Where I go to graduate school will directly effect the job I get after graduation. If I move to Seattle for grad school, I may have to stay on the west coast for a while. Do I want to do that? I don't know!

#3- At some point, I like to imagine I will become involved in a relationship with a man. Where I move will determine who I meet, or reconnect with, which will effect how my romantic life (or lack there of) plays out. Where does the next love of my life live? (This probably should have been last because this is not a priority by any means, just a fact.)

#4- I may not see my family for a while if I move farther than Mississippi. Am I ok with not seeing them? Do I want a life where my nephews think of me as a mythical creature? A voice on the phone who they speak with on holidays and birthdays?

I am hoping I magically only get accepted into one graduate school, but it is not looking that way. I may be the only person in the world hoping to not get accepted to the schools they applied to! It really is a gut/heart wrenching decision. I have worked so hard and I deserve to go to the best school for my field, but... how can I leave my family, my friends, my whole life so far behind? Conversely if I get into an amazing program, how can I not go? How could I tell a school I once imagined to be out of my league, "No thanks."?

I know things will work out as they should, life works that way, and I am trying to keep an open mind to all possibilities. Right now, I feel lost. I am visiting two schools next month, I sure hope that sheds some light on my dilemma!

My Filthy Animal

2010-02-04T08:37:00.001-06:00

My black dog, Lola, is a pig. When I found her, she was malnourished and near starving, and I don't believe she has ever gotten past that childhood trauma. Or maybe she is just a fatty at heart! In any case, my little Lola bear often resembles more of a pig and is constantly desperate for food.

Take for example this morning. I fed the dogs their breakfast, ate my breakfast and since I wasn't feeling all that hungry, I fed the dogs some of my eggs and toast. Then I let them outside by themselves while I brushed my teeth. I then head outside to let them out into our bigger side yard and my brown dog, Bella, is sitting on the back step looking at me and furiously wagging her tail. I know this look. This look says, 'Mom it wasn't me, I had no part in this. In fact, I begged her not to do it!'

So I call Lola. Nothing. Oh gosh, what is she into? I call her again, she bolts around the corner. Now, the fenced in back yard I had left them in for five minutes is not very large, maybe the size of the living room and the kitchen, so I don't see what could have taken her so long. Therefore, I peek around the corner. What I see and smell causes my stomach to turn and I emit some sort of startled "Bah!"-like sound.

What did I see which horrified me so? My compost bin, which has not been performing well lately. In fact, I had put off plans to build a new one last weekend because I was so busy, but the building of a new and improved compost bin was on my 'To Do' list. It was pretty high up on the list because it wasn't breaking down food and yard litter very well. And by 'very well' I mean, it was sort of a rotting pile of vegetables compounded by an over-saturation of water due to our recent rain. It was in a closed bin, but I guess Lola figured out how to open it because she had removed a great quantity of what I can best describe as sludge.

The smell was indescribable, but I will try. Take a smelly litter box, add in the salad you forgot about in the bottom of the fridge that one time and then top it off with some good old standing water- and you are close. It was funky, overpowering and nauseating.

I hurriedly put the lid back on it and usher the girls into the back yard to do their business, all the while verbally expressing my disappointment with Lola. At this point, I have class in twenty minutes. When they are finished I let them back inside, still verbally expressing my displeasure with Lola. She tucks her tail under her legs and jumps on my futon. And then I smell it. She smells like the compost pile.

I mean, of course she does, she was probably ass deep in the nasty pile of rotting refuse. She has gotten it on my futon, which is lucky because the futon is washable whereas had she jumped on the micro-suede couch, well you can imagine. I then realize, I cannot go to class without endangering everything I own. I have no way to quickly contain her, their kennel in somewhere in th garage because I never use it. It has suddenly gone from being class time to doggie shower time.

Needless to say, I am not thrilled with Lola, however as I bathe her I begin to feel less like I want to beat her and develop more of a sense of humor about the subject. A dog is a dog after all, and even a good dog sometimes like to roll in a rotting fish, chew up a calculator, or just eat a few feet of compost. To love someone is to embrace their faults, and I guess Lola is a pig, and I don't think she is gonna change.

And hey, now I have the morning off to catch up on homework. I love you Lola for the filthy animal you are.

Ramblings of a Wednesday

2010-02-03T19:19:00.000-06:00

Well, still haven't really broken my funk this week. I can't wake up! It was so great last week, and now this. I am so tired also! The fact that it has rained nonstop since Sunday, certainly has not helped me with my productivity problem. I do have hopes for tomorrow and an intent to get into bed early tonight!!! Also, hoping to drop one class and get my school hours down to a more reasonable twenty!

Have a light up ahead, will be visiting at least one school in the next month. I am going to Mississippi with my friend who is also looking at getting her masters there. So, we will be stopping in my favorite, New Orleans, and probably a beach and/or casino or two. The beaches here have been inundated with a red tide since about November (roughly), so it has been a while since I have been in the water! Also, the red tide has been making many doggies in this area sick, so the ladies and I have stayed clear!

Today I got a migraine while working in the lab. I hate getting them so much. I was suddenly rendered helpless and incapacitated for at least thirty minutes. And since then I have been only partially cognizant. At first, I couldn't even walk down the hall. I get so frustrated with migraines because there is nothing to be done, but to try and relax, which is hard, and let it pass. My brain still feels like someone scrambled it with an electric beater. :( On a side note, I once got drugged when I was out at a bar and my brain felt like a magnified version of this. It felt scrambled for about half a month!

You take one step forward and one step back.

2010-02-02T21:32:00.000-06:00

I have slipped this week. Something went awry and I lost my rhythm. I can't wake up in the morning. I am tired all day. Ate out twice this week (only two days in!).

Headed to bed and back into the groove tomorrow. Must work out! Must be productive! I need to be productive!

Sigh.

Is it May yet?

Quick and Dirty Margarita in a Mason Jar

2010-01-31T21:08:00.001-06:00

One of my favorite indulgences. Quick and dirty recipe below.

Get a mason jar with a lid and fill it with ice. Add about a shot and a half of tequila.

I like to infuse the tequila with peppers. The recipe for that is very simple. Slice peppers, add to tequila, let sit for a few weeks. Jalapenos, green chiles- whatever you like will work! The amount of seeds left intact is directly proportional to the heat generated in the tequila.

Back to our quick and dirty margarita, next I squeeze about 3 - 4 limes into the jar, depending on how juicy they are and how limey I want it to taste. If I have an orange I squeeze one of those in also. If not, a splash of oj will do just fine.

Orange liqueur such as triple sec or cointreau is welcome, of course, but this is my quick and dirty recipe- so I am not including it as a requirement.

Then I fill the jar to about two centimeters below the lip with water. Now, I add about a tablespoon (or two depending on your taste) of sugar. A nice dash of sea salt and cayenne pepper. If you have olive juice, a dash of that is magic also. Then put the lid on and shake vigorously until the sugar is dissolved and the margarita is cold, cold, cold!

Taste. Adjust is needed. Taste again. Enjoy ! :)

Cold!

2010-01-31T08:15:00.000-06:00

Does everyone else have a harder time being productive when it is colder than normal outside?

I do, I just wanna cuddle up and be warm!

But, no time, no time! I have to work out and do homework!

I will save up the lazy for May after finals.

Gifts of five am.

2010-01-30T08:20:00.001-06:00

I have a crazy schedule this semester. If you counted the Calculus class I am studying to test out of and my internship, I would be taking 25 hours! Luckily for my sanity, the internship is simply me working twenty hours a week, which is time consuming, but requires no outside effort on my part.

Anyway after the first week of classes, I realized I would never make it to the gym at the end of the day. After over ten hours away from home, all I ever wanna do is go snuggle with the dogs. Realistically every night I also have some school work that I must accomplish for the next day, so after doing that- the gym idea is pretty much out the window. Add in the fact that I must be somewhere Monday through Friday at 8 am, and you end up with no time for the gym. This realization hit me the Thursday of my second week of classes.

Faced with this new knowledge, I saw it was either find a way to work in working out, become anorexic or go invest in a wardrobe of elastic waist band pants and loose shirts. Looking at a color coded print out of my schedule, because that is the sort of anal retentive woman I am, I saw an area of free time and an area of squandered time. Normally after school, I come home and drink a glass of wine whilst becoming comatose and/or doing homework. I also normally sleep until 6:45 or so, and barely make it to class by 8 am. Deciding to choose the path of NO elastic waisted pants, I make a new schedule and a new decision to improve my health, sanity and poor neglected body. I decide I will wake up at 5 am and work out for roughly two hours everyday, no questions.

It has been one week and one day of attempting to accomplish this. Have I gotten up at 5 on the dot everyday? No, but I have gotten in some exercise everyday. I have also waked or jogged the dogs twice everyday. They seem perkier and happier. I feel hopeful I will be able to complete my undergraduate degree without gaining any more weight. I think I will be able to recover a semblance of the toned body I used to have when free time existed. I think I will not graduate looking like Jabba the Hutt.

The bad side of this schedule change is that you will find me getting into bed around nine thirty most nights. The nights when I stay up "late", like midnight, I am a piece of junk the whole nest day. I think it is a fair trade-off though. I love knowing at 8 am that I have worked out my body and my dogs already, and that I don't have to worry about trying to squeeze in exercise later on. This change will be good! I can't wait to feel strong again soon! Hooray for 5 am!!!

Teenager issues.

2010-01-28T20:38:00.000-06:00

Have you ever tried talking to a teenager?

It is like pulling teeth out of a crocodile. My sister is about a month shy of fifteen and it also takes about fifteen minutes of one word answers from her to get her to warm up to having an actual conversation. In her defense, I have a hard time remembering that she is not a little girl, and how she probably feels like a grown up. I know what I thought I knew when I was fifteen, and it was everything.

After a while, she did warm up. We had a pretty nice talk. Being a teenager is hard. I wouldn't do it again, unless I could retain my wisdom. As a teen, everything seems so urgent, so crucial and so unfair. Life is hard. I empathize with her completely. I just want her to turn out ok. I worry for her because I know how teens think, and boy does that scare me.

Here's a little plea to the universe, please let my baby girl make it out of the hellish years of "-teen" unscathed.

Unexpected twists and turns.

2010-01-26T22:34:00.001-06:00

Sorry to be consumed by graduate school, but it is my next step in life- and I don't know where I am stepping yet!

I mentioned recently that a prospective advisor at a big, fancy school had asked me during a phone interview what I wanted to do. And I kind of stammered out a lame response. So, of course, I thought it through. I have thought this through before, but in the midst of everything one must do to apply and be competitive for a graduate program, I think I lost my initial focus. At least, I forgot to think about it.

So, I thought about it again. I want to work with pelagic fish, if at all possible. These are fish that live offshore.

Remembering this I search again for prospective mentors doing pelagic research. I find a few. I email them. I wait.

...

Lo and behold, I get a response today, a good one. About as good of one as can be imagined. The school is not a big, fancy school, but it is in the South. And, I see myself there. I feel myself there. I kind of feel a weight off my shoulders, as if I am going to go there.

Now, I have no factual evidence to back this feeling up. No reason or anything else tangible, just a feeling of *sigh*, and shoulders drop, and smile. And maybe a small tear in an eye, or two.

It might be the one I want, even over the other big, fancy schools. I see and feel myself there, surely that means something? We shall see. Choosing this is comfortable, and that makes me feel like a cop out. No grand adventure, besides the grand adventure of life. No new place. No out of comfort zone. I would be so comfortable here- it's almost home already. It is a bit over an hour from my heart's home (New Orleans).

So, this is my new dilemma. New vs. comfort. Unobtainable & fancy vs. within grasp & within reason.

Ultimately, one must go with their gut. My gut currently wants to be in the South, but I am going to give equal consideration to all my options.

Or, I will try to anyway. :)

Celery magic

2010-01-24T11:29:00.001-06:00

Attention world: all you need to add to soup/stew like concoctions to make it smell (and presumably taste) heavenly is celery.

I save the middle and tops of celery food cooking, but since I wasn't planning on preparing any beans or soups this week, I went ahead and added them to the dogs food. As this pot of dog food began to simmer, the smell of delicious homemade soup heaven started to emerge. It smells like I want to taste it, even though I know I don't.

So celery, the magic seasoning for soup. Save your leaves for cooking!

:)

"So, what kind of research do you want to do?"

2010-01-23T04:39:00.001-06:00

This may not be word for word, but this is the question to which I felt I floundered the most during my phone interview for graduate school yesterday. I joked later that I sputtered out something akin to, "I like fish."

It's funny though, I have been consumed for the last six months with the task of getting into a graduate program that I had become distanced from what my personal statement of curriculum vitae actually say and mean. I wrote these words, but after so much modification for each program- they started to mean nothing to me. So early this morning when I could not sleep, I started thinking about the question posed to be by my interviewer.

I do like fish, so I am sure whatever I said was accurate. Delve deeper. I want the ocean to maintain its biodiversity. Probably not gonna happen, but a noble task to labor for. Think harder. Pelagics. Oh yeah, that is what I am really passionate about. My blue whale, white elephant, unicorn what have you.

Pelagic fish are basically open water fish. This makes them hard to govern with fishing laws and thus many species are terribly overharvested. This is what I want to work on. The problem with no solution. How do you protect something which cannot be contained? Something which may not be able to be bred in captivity. Something grand and wild! And something that is sadly harvested like wheat- the world seems to think these fish are there for their consumption alone. Something endangered that needs me. That is the answer to the question.

I want to help the fish with no real hope for the future. I have always been a sucker for seemingly lost causes or orphan types. Hello bluefin tuna, sardine, snapper- let's be friends.

Tongue Tied

2010-01-22T10:01:00.000-06:00

This morning I had a phone call interview with a potential advisor at a very good school. First of all, I had kind of forgotten to email him back earlier in the week. I wasn't really being absentminded, I have been close to but not quite overwhelmed all week long. I went out of town last weekend and have been playing catch up all week. However, I did find a way to alter my work schedule which will make future weeks less hectic. So, I emailed him this morning, and then was reading up on him and his research, refreshing my memory... and my phone rings. Yep, it was from the right state.

And it was indeed him. I was a bit caught off guard. Here I was looking at his papers thinking how much I would like to work with him and then he is on my phone. And he was very nice and his work sounds very interesting and just like what I want to do.

How was I? Verbally incompetent. Stammering. Unable to really answer simple questions. I feel like I sounded very unprepared and a very unknowledgeable about my field.

If admission to graduate school is dependent upon me talking intelligently when under pressure, then I am in trouble. I need to plan my words before I say them or they come across like a jumble of catchphrases and silly observations. I guess I now know something I need to work on- being able to speak like a scientist at any given time, not just when I am sure of the answers.

Bell pepper dilemma

2010-01-21T21:36:00.000-06:00

I bought a container of pre-cut multicolor (red, yellow and green) (as opposed to purple or blue) bell peppers at the grocery store this week because they were on super clearance (99cents!).

However, now I am faced with the dilemma, what do I do with them? My brain keeps thinking fish tacos, but I am up for anything? There is a lot of them!

Any good chopped bell pepper recipes out there?

Test of character

2010-01-21T13:57:00.000-06:00

That is what this, my last semester as an undergraduate, will be. I am behind already, however I believe I can catch up this weekend and get back in the black. As of now, in the red. I scored a 20, yes that is out of 100, on my first Physics quiz. That is sooo bad, but my book hadn't arrived yet, so I was unprepared. This,obviously, cannot happen again.

Today, I start to play the catch up game, and hopefully by Sunday evening, things will be smooth sailing until November. My to do list isn't really so bad, but it doesn't leave much time this semester for working out. This means I am going to have to watch my diet very carefully! So, there will be much less beer, wine and cocktails involved! I really eat very healthy most of the time, so besides alcohol, I just need to watch portions and cheese. Cheese being as big of a weakness as a nice drink.

What I have to do before May:
-write a 15 page thesis like paper summarizing 2 years of research (due early March)
-pass all my classes, really only worried about Physics
-not gain any weight in absence of daily exercise
-pick a graduate program

and most dauntingly,
-teach myself calculus and pass a calculus CLEP test to get a required math credit!!!

-

Literal loss of speech

2010-01-15T13:10:00.001-06:00

A couple weeks ago, I suddenly found myself inspired and quickly hammered out what I imagined to be a very touching, heartfelt toast for my father's upcoming birthday celebration (tomorrow). As I begin to pack my weekend bag, the darn thing is absolutely no where to be found!

Now I love my dad, so an off the cuff toast would not exactly be hard to throw together on the spot, but what I wrote before says all of the things we always mean to tell people we love, but sometimes forget. Like how they have changed our lives by being themselves. Or how we hope we can be the same kind of giving, loving person they are. Or how their words have guided us down the right path in life.

I better get back to looking, I have to get on the road in a few short hours!

Woah-

2010-01-11T15:58:00.002-06:00

I had to add on some extra classes last minute- looks like this semester is gonna be a doozy.

sigh.

I can't wait for May!!!!

A Few Quick Thoughts

2010-01-10T20:55:00.000-06:00

Today disappeared so fast!! Where did it go? Heck, where did the break go? I have class tomorrow!

Trying really hard to learn calculus, I have to pass a test on the 26th, or maybe not graduate. Since not graduating is absolutely not an option, I must pass this test! A bit intimidating to be sure.

I want to be fit again! I want to be pretty muscles without yucky fat hanging on to by poor body. I really miss trails.... In Austin, if I ever packed on a few pounds, I would just hike more- but there are no trails here! No hiking, no biking, so few options.... Tomorrow, I start counting calories again in a serious way. I will be the fit version of myself again, BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY! Which gives me about three months. I have ten inches I want to lose off my booty/hip area- how is that even possible? Ten inches seems like a lotta inches! Holy cow!

It is now pilates time. I will trudge through the next hour of ab hell for the greater good! For all mankind.

Ok, here we go!

Karma: A Saturday morning bitchfest

2010-01-09T09:56:00.004-06:00

You know what they say about karma, she's a bitch. Or maybe I am- I dunno, but somebody's definitely a bitch.

When I was younger, I used to be a lot more moody than I am these days. I certainly had times when I ran hot and cold with people I dated. And now its my turn to get taken for a ride. Up and down, up and down- I think I am getting motion sickness.

The problem is that I am not nearly as patient and understanding as people who may have put up with me in the past. I am pretty much the opposite of patient and understanding. Now that I have myself all figured out and understood, I want to be with a person who is one the same page. No pouting, no yelling, no endless apologies- just a smooth, easy ride. That's all, and I don't think that is too much to ask.

And since that isn't too much to ask, how about a person who doesn't break plans with you to drink with their friends because they told you they would stop drinking excessively. I would think the realization
that drinking makes you act like a giant asshole to the person you are supposed to care about would be reason enough to not ever want to drink.

But, it is not for some people. And I think that is ridiculous.

I also think that people who cancel dinner plans with someone they haven't seen all week to go drinking don't deserve the opportunity to ruin another evening.

And karma may be a bitch, but this girl is not about to be somebody's bitch.

Adventures in ham hocks

2010-01-08T10:27:00.004-06:00

I cook beans frequently- cheap, healthy and delicious protein. And I cook all sorts of beans: navy, black, black eyed, purple hull, lima... you get the picture. My favorite beans to cook, perhaps because they were the object of my first bean love, are red beans. As in red beans in rice, as in heavenly comfort food.

I have used many pork products over the years in the flavoring of my red beans: sausage, smoked ham, bacon. Once I tried salt pork, which to me was so gross. It smelled like soap. Ugh, it was not smoky tasting, it was just a smelly, blubbery, big hunk of fat. This bummed me out because salt pork is a pretty traditional cut of meat for beans. It is in my "To Try Again" box in my brain, but no time too soon!

One form of the pig which has not made its red beans and rice debut is the ham hock. Ah, the ham hock, this is noble peasant food, and poor college students are modern peasants for sure. Wikipedia says it is the joint between the tibia/fibula and metatarsals of the foot. Which doesn't exactly scream delicious to me, but I purchase it anyway with hesitation.

I brace myself for the worst, upon opening the package this morning, but it isn't really bad at all. It smells smoky, tasty, like a big hunk of bacon. Ok, I am game- let's play ham hock.

(Am starting to think store sold me just chunks of smoked ham as ham hock- hmm... )

Seattle.

2010-01-07T19:45:00.002-06:00

I wanna get in to school here so badly!!!!

There I said it.

And we wait.

Until March....

Keep your fingers crossed!

I wanna live in a big city! Rachel in the City! Yes!!! :)

Dog food

2010-01-07T12:22:00.000-06:00

I like to make the ladies homemade dog food whenever I can because I have read some truly horrible things about manufactured dog food. This biggest problem for me in regards to commercial dog food is a lack of regulations and accountability as to the quality of ingredients. I have read some disgusting stories. You can read a breakdown of pet food labels and common ingredients here, here or here.

It is really sad to read and makes you wonder, what exactly are you feeding you beloved companion?

To quit wondering, I started making my girls food some years ago. It really isn't a big pain or expense. They get excited when they smell food cooking, and they love their dinner!

I try to mix up what I feed them to get them a healthy mix of nutrients and there are tons of recipes available online. I also buy food from companies with good a reputation and clean ingredients, such as Flint River Ranch. The ladies love their Fish and Chips formula- sweet potatoes and trout, sign me up too!

I have a default, no brainer recipe that I use when I am busy.

Dog Food:
a big tube of ground beef (5 or 10 lbs)
3 - 5 big sweet potatoes
1 pound brown rice
oatmeal
olive oil

I fill the biggest pot I have a bit less than half-way with water and turn the burner to med-high. I add about a quarter cup of olive oil, the brown rice and the tube of meat. While it starts to boil I dice the sweet potatoes and add them as I finish them. Stir and bring to a boil. Once boiling, I turn the pot down, stir (it will stick to the bottom) and cover. I simmer until the sweet potatoes and rice are soft, if they are not cooked well, your pup may experience slight digestive troubles. Once everything is soft, I remove from the burner and add as much oatmeal as it needs to soak up the extra water- two cups or so. Stir in. Then, I just cover and let the hot food and oatmeal amalgamate together. You may need to add more water throughout the process. depending on how hot it gets. It should stay slightly soupy until the oatmeal is added. It takes a while to cool, so I leave it on the stove for a few hours and then I store it in the fridge in large tupperware.

I feed the girls about a cup a meal (2x/day). If you switch foods, I always find tapering the switch works best to avoid too much doggy tummy problems.

The food usually lasts a week to a week and a half. I am trying to use less grains in their food and switch to more protein and vegetable, but protein can be a bit pricey.

One word of advice I have is, don't add broccoli. That really made the girls tummies rumble! It was a long week...

Happy tails!

Sissy- creepy post

2010-01-06T09:49:00.000-06:00

I am the biggest sissy in the whole world. I feel like I got about an hour of sleep last night because I kept waking up every half-hour or so thinking I heard a suspicious noise. It is as though I am six years old! The house I live in right now is particularly bad for a few reasons.

First of all, we did get broken into while we had evacuated for hurricane Ike, and that feeling of violation lingers. It is not hard to imagine whoever took a gardening tool out of the garage and then used it to break though my bedroom window, doing it again.

Another bad thing about this house is the lot it sits on. It is a huge yard with lots of bamboo and bushes, good hiding places. In fact, some neighborhood kids have a 'clubhouse' in the bamboo. The bamboo, with its secret passages, is the 'fence' separating my yard from at least three other yards! Yep three, I told you it was big. I also am bordered on two sides by a road, so all day and night I hear people walking, driving, talking... it never stops.

The last, and silliest, thing about my rental house that makes it hard to sleep is the house itself. It is kinda creepy sometimes. It is old, probably 1940's or so, and creaky. It is really easy to imagine things here, and if I were the type of person inclined to give into such visions, I would probably be convinced the house was haunted. I do not, and will not cave to these imaginations, but sometimes I get the freakiest visions in my head. The garage and the bathroom are the places here I would name as haunted, if I were playing along. I get this creepy feeling in both places, its like I expect to see dead people in those rooms. Very strange, I don't normally anticipate finding a body!

What I imagine is strange because it is always the same. Someone, a woman, dead in the bathtub- murdered, I think. (Which is silly anyway because the owners installed a new bathtub right before we moved in!) And a body hanging from the rafters in the garage. You should see the garage, you would understand. It is creepy in and of itself! Old wooden walls, not actually secure from the outside world, the aforementioned rafters....

I am not a crazy woman, so why do I let myself literally lose sleep over imagined creepy crawlies? Am I the only one who still wishes she could crawl into the safety of her parents bed some nights? Metaphorically, of course.

Meatballs and bread pudding

2010-01-05T17:39:00.003-06:00

I guess meatball sandwiches has been in the air lately because I cooked some up last night. I usually just use meat and herbs, but inspired by Tyly's post here, I decided to make a more traditional meatball. I did, of course, make some changes. If you should know anything about me, it is that I cannot follow a recipe to save my life. I did borrow a few ideas which I normally ignore; such as the eggs and breadcrumbs, which worked out wonderfully (Thanks Tyly)! I also added in about a cup of chopped bell pepper, a cup of chopped white onion, a quarter cup of chopped garlic, a dash of cayenne pepper and a sprinkle of red pepper flakes.

This my friends, is not a recipe for practicing the restraint I recently mentioned wanting to develop in my cooking. No this was not that, this was a spicy meatball! As you can see below, it was flavor country!

I did borrow the cooking strategy laid out in the recipe and it worked like a charm! Baking the meatballs first and then simmering them in the sauce was brilliant! It was a great way to soften up all the veggies in the meat balls and they held together amazingly! No crumbles here!

I served the meatballs on whole wheat, hot dogs buns with melted fat-free mozzerella and topped with a sprinkle of parmigiana cheese. It was kinda messy, but delish! And healthy- we had a big salad on the side.

Then for desert, I took some homemade bread which was leftover from the holidays, cubed it and then covered it with a mixture of 1 c. milk, 1 c. sugar, some molasses, some cinnamon, 3 eggs, some spiced whiskey, some vanilla and some chocolate liquor. Then I let it sit for twenty minutes like this in a baking pan. After twenty minutes had passed I covered this mixture with a topping of 2/3 a stick of melted butter, mixed with brown sugar, vanilla, and some chocolate pieces. This sat for another twenty minutes and then I baked it for forty at 350. It is supposed to get some sort of icing, but I simply served it warm with vanilla ice cream (Low fat, no sugar added!). It is waaay to tasty- I may have had a couple of bites already this evening. I think all you really need is cubed bread, milk and eggs. The rest is up to you!

Bad wine = opportunity!

2010-01-05T16:39:00.001-06:00

It is always such a big disappointment for me to open up a bottle of wine to find that it tastes funny, or just outright bad. I hate returning open bottles of wine to the grocery store because generally the clerk is a kid, who doesn't drink wine, and therefore doesn't understand the legitimacy of a bad bottle. Now assuming the wine is not actually spoiled, another course of action is to use the wine to make sangria.

Pour the wine, white or red, over a glass of ice. Now add juice and/or liquor until it tastes better. That is all. Truly any juice will work, but some of my favorites include: orange juice, a freshly squeezed lemon and/or lime, pomegranate, cranberry, mango, etc.....

For liquors, if you have any triple sec (Cointreau, Grand Marnier), flavored schnapps (Peach!!!, blueberry, passion fruit, Guava)- I add about half a shot or less (a capful) of any flavor. You can always add more, but a little Scnhapps goes a long way!

Also, wonderful to add to your sangria is fresh or frozen fruit! Blackberries or frozen strawberries are good. I personally love adding frozen peaches or mango!

I use roughly 2/3 wine to 1/3 juice if the wine is ok tasting. If the taste is pretty bad, I will do half and half or more. The flavor combination is up to you, and the possibilities are endless! If it tastes not quite right, I have found the fresh lemon or lime does wonders!

So, next time your wine tastes bad- pour it over some ice (or in a pitcher over ice) and add... anything! It can turn a sad wine event into a sangria Sunday... or whatever day it is!

P.S.
Adding sprite is not a bad thing- bubbles are yummy!

Cheers!

Hello Old Friend!

2010-01-04T15:28:00.000-06:00

I got an new I-pod last year because my old one was only partially functional. You see, the directional keys to either skip or repeat a song were inoperable, which can be quite annoying on a day to day basis.

A few days ago, I found my old I-pod tucked away in a bin of electronic cords and extra ear buds. I have been listening to it almost non-stop since. I don't have any of this music on the new one because my lap top died about the time I replaced the I-pod, so I lost all my old music!

It feels like an old friend has come to visit me, and it has been so lovely! Such great memories!

Pizza of my dreams!

2010-01-03T12:10:00.001-06:00

Oh my, oh my, oh my! That pizza I cooked last night was everything I dreamed it would be! I even managed to stick to the simple ingredients! Heaven, it was pizza heaven! Cheesy, saucy, delicious pizza heaven!

I think the simple sauce was a key component, it was a can of tomato sauce, a can of tomato paste, a can of diced tomatoes and about a cup of red wine simmered together until the alcohol cooked out and it thickened slightly. Then at the last minute I added about a cup (measure was pre-chopping) of chopped fresh basil from the garden. It was simple, but perfect on the pizza! Very bold tomato flavor and hey, tons of beta-carotene and lycopene for your health!

Now the pics:

I know here you may think it looks soggy, but so not! The crust is crispy and not effected at all by the loads and loads of sauce on the pizza.

The pizza in its entirety, minus four pieces already eaten. You can see the steam rising off of it, now if only this was in Smell-O-Vision because, oh man, did it smell amazing! And these pics do not do it justice!

The pizza was pretty healthy, whole wheat crust, no meat, not greasy at all. You might be able to substitute the fresh mozzarella for shredded low fat mozzarella, but I don't know for sure if it would keep the crust from getting soggy. Maybe next time I will do half and half with the cheese and see if there is any difference.

Now, I have some doggies waiting to go for a walk in the park, a ballet workout to complete, a bathroom to clean and then ... the garage to clean. Better get moving, fueled by leftover pizza, I can accomplish anything!

Culinary delights!

2010-01-02T18:13:00.000-06:00

This has been a yummy week at the Brewton household.

Began the week with potato stew, made from leftover Christmas ham and tons of veggies! Creamy and healthy delicious potato heaven.

Followed by a pot of spicy, Southern black eyed peas for New Year's Day.

And now a Saturday night of homemade pizza. I am trying a to make a Sicilian pizza I saw on the travel channel. The crust is a rolled out into a big rectangle, then you spread olive oil on it. Directly on top of the crust, you place slices of fresh mozzarella. The cheese is topped by a simple sauce of tomatoes and basil, which is finished with a sprinkling of parmigiana cheese. Apparently, the crust and the cheese form a cheesy bread-type vessel to deliver the sauce, soggy crust free.

For me, the hardest part of this pizza is maintaining the simplicity. I am prone to season food heavily, at times, excessively. So, I am working on appreciating the simplicity of beautiful flavor combinations, such as tomato, basil, and mozzarella.

Confession: I have already added red wine to the tomato sauce and some chopped fresh garlic to the crust- but I am doing my best not to add any crushed red pepper, cayenne, oregano... etc.

P.S.
I think the best part of the cooking this evening is that I am wearing 3 inch heels and my leopard print apron. I don't know why I like playing dress up to cook dinner? It's just good fun!

Organizing machine.

2010-01-02T14:01:00.000-06:00

I can't stop. it feels so great to get things in order! I feel like I can breathe easier when I look around and find my surroundings to be pleasing.

My bedroom is almost done and it looks so nice. I can just go in there and relax now. :)

Next is bathroom and all my beauty products, which are far more numerous than necessary. I use about four products a day, so what the heck is all this other junk?

Last, and most daunting, is the garage. This needs the most work. It is where I have been hiding my messes.

The final stage of Operation Clean the House before January 13 (school starts) is the big haul to Goodwill.

Back to work!

Rachel thinks...

2009-12-31T12:45:00.001-06:00

That when you live with another person, you ought to turn on a radio or tv before you have sex really loudly.

Ew.

Oh Josh,

2009-12-30T21:16:00.002-06:00

... Turner, that is! You are my pied piper. Now, let's 'Just Dance'....

Freakin' hairstylists!

2009-12-30T10:56:00.000-06:00

I hate them!! I try to give them chances, but i is so frustrating to spend $50 and come home looking worse than when you went! She was sweet. She gave me a fine haircut, but I just asked her to even out my bangs and trim the back even. I guess it escapes my notice yesterday that she went on a little layering spree- leaving me with a much different haircut than I had/wanted!

I went in looking like thirties bob:

and came home looking like Carol Brady:

I HATE SALONS!!!

Cleaning

2009-12-29T23:31:00.001-06:00

Organizing, cleaning, reorganizing, drinking wine...

Why does a room feel so much better once you have moved everything around? I don't know, but I love rearranging! And sweeping up the dust behind things, so when you look at it you know it is truly clean! Heaven! Well ok, my weird, anal version of heaven!

Back to cleaning, things are looking better around here!

Oughta be watching this-

2009-12-23T19:59:00.000-06:00

Here's lookin' at you kid.

2009-12-23T19:51:00.000-06:00

Oh Casablanca, love it!

Holy Teenager!

2009-12-19T12:46:00.001-06:00

I got myself a lil' Christmas present, coolest thing ever, a negative scanner. Say hello to teen Rachel.

Actually, I love having bangs!

2009-12-18T22:12:00.000-06:00

This is me and my lovely friend Courtney at my Christmas party. I am liking the bangs more and more. I feel more polished, which isn't hard because I normally feel like a hobo. It is hard to take time for your appearance when you get busy! I have been making an effort lately to take better care of myself because even if I am not trying to impress anyone most days, I should make the effort for myself. As should everyone! You can't skimp on the self-care or self-love!

Lesson #5638 for People with Curly Hair

2009-12-14T21:24:00.000-06:00

Don't cut bangs if you live in a humid climate.

Random blurbs

2009-12-14T19:04:00.000-06:00

The semester is almost over! Two days and one final left! I cannot wait spend some more time off campus!!

I have submitted one application for graduate school, to the University of Massachusetts, and I will submit one more tomorrow to the University of Washington- Seattle.

Tomorrow is my Christmas party! Annual tradition in its third year! This will be a blast!

Lastly, romantically, things are good.

Call me old fashioned...

2009-12-12T01:52:00.000-06:00

Maybe I am getting to be an old fuddy duddy,or too demanding in my old age, but I truly do believe you should wait until you have been back together with someone more than two days before hugely disappointing them.

I guess other people feel differently.

Déjà vu

2009-12-09T16:12:00.000-06:00

Is so weird!!

It is always the most random, meaningless stuff- like the combination of typing a word and thinking of a person, and then bam- there it is! -the strangest feeling that you have done that mundane, but unique combination of tasks before.

I always take it to mean I am on the right path in life.

:)

More weird words of wisdom

2009-12-09T10:39:00.000-06:00

Ok, this is strange!

Two different boxes of tea, purchased at two different times, locations and stores. Same brand, different flavor.

This morning making my chai tea I didn't have my normal mix of vanilla Bigelow and Good Earth's sweet and spicy, so I used two Good Earth varieties; one vanilla chai and one black chai. Only one had a message on the tea bag.

Then at the last minute I decided to throw a Sweet and Spicy into the mix, because I don't really like the other too- and the message was the same! Crazy! I never get the same tea message, they have lots and lots!

What are my consumer words of wisdom today, "First think, then act."

Ha ha, sound advice indeed.

P.S.
We are going to try and work things out and I am hopeful!

Out there

2009-12-08T20:52:00.000-06:00

Well I did it- foolishly, no doubt, but I put myself 'out there'. I dropped defenses and opened the door again (emotionally) for someone who hurt me rather badly. Why? It is hard to let go of something which once was good, or should have been good, or whatever it is that binds us to certain people.

Maybe it was dumb. Could be really dumb because there were lines which were crossed that will require there to be changes in people's behavior and counseling, if another attempt at this relationship is made.

However, I don't know if it will be made because he didn't respond.

I mean, I didn't expect him to drop everything and run to me, but damn, an acknowledgement would have been nice. This interim time gives me pause to wonder- maybe it is better, maybe I was wrong and weak and sad.

The thing is, I decided, I would rather be wrong and take a chance on happiness, than be right and miss out on a good thing.

I am fortune's fool for sure, but at least I can go on without the regret I would have felt if I had not extended that last hand out to him. Even if he never responds, at least I will know now that I did not let pride or logic lead, I let my heart lead, and if that gets me to the same end, so be it. I will go there knowing I took another chance on love.

And I hope I will never stop taking those chances. When people let their hearts harden and turn bitter, they seem to stop enjoying life.

And that my friends, is what I am here for. Since I reached out, a weight was lifted off of my chest. My heart felt less heavy immediately. Even if I am ignored or scorned or whatever, I know I let my defenses down and was vulnerable.

It felt weird, but good. Regardless of the outcome, I need to do that more often.

Unrealistic

2009-12-08T16:19:00.001-06:00

You ever hope that someone will know just the thing to do to fix something? That just for a moment, they would read your mind and do exactly the right thing?

I hoped that today, I really did. I hoped that if I explained my feelings to him and how upset I was about the whole thing that he would just show up, and then somehow things would be ok again.

I sat outside for an hour, holding my breath every time a car passed.

I could see how it would transpire in my head. In that one moment, all could just be absolved- that one moment of perfection.

Alas, no mind reading, no absolution, no perfect moment. Just me jumping every time a car door closed.

Well, at least I still can feel.

Honestly,

2009-12-08T12:52:00.005-06:00

I am so bummed out right now.

What can you do when a person repeatedly crosses boundaries, but eventually walk away?

I had to be the person saying, no more chances, however that doesn't mean I like the outcome all that much.

Thinking about watching The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

[last lines]

Joel: I can't see anything that I don't like about you.

Clementine: But you will! But you will. You know, you will think of things. And I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me.

Joel: Okay.

Clementine: [pauses] Okay.

That conversation isn't exactly relevant to my situation today, but I love the idea of this movie- it is essentially an hour and a half expansion of "tis better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all".

Quote the movie is named for:

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!

The world forgetting, by the world forgot

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!

Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd. "

Chocolate Promises

2009-12-07T19:44:00.000-06:00

I love Dove dark chocolate promises, they allow me to satiate my chocolate need, while consuming minimal calories.

They also have cute little "promises" under the wrapper, kinda like a fortune cookie.

Today, I opened my evening's allotment of two and... they had the same promise inside! Both of them! I tried to find an approximate number of possible promises, but could not. However, I do think the odds of this happening are slim, and therefore MUST mean something.

So, what was the promise that the chocolate gods wanted me to heed?

"Do not look back and ask why, look forward and ask, why not?"

Comments, opinions?

Tree time

2009-12-04T20:50:00.002-06:00

Organic, soy Egg nog

Spiced whiskey

Fake tree

Friends to help

:)

Snide

2009-12-01T20:20:00.000-06:00

It isn't a pretty look for someone who professes to be a Southern lady.

Given that, I say more sincerely to my anonymous advice giver, thank you for taking time out of your life to read about mine and contribute your thoughts. Blogs are a forum for thoughts and I was wrong to find yours ridiculous.

I do, however, believe myself to be in the best mental health of my life. Therefore, I do not believe I will seek out professional help, but your suggestion was considered as much as it deserved to be.

Outlook is positive. Future is bright. So, thank you for your concern, but I am great. A bit chilly, due to a broken heater, but otherwise, A-ok.

Helpful suggestions.

2009-12-01T15:53:00.000-06:00

Comment on previous post,

"I came across your blog and I think you might need to look into getting so professional help. You seem a bit all over the place, have you ever been tested for bi-polor disease?"

Thank you Anonymous for your deep concern, it is truly touching when people care for other people. It is too bad that you are 'Anonymous', as I would love to extend my gratitude for your concern personally.

Be that as it may, I am a happy, well-adjusted woman who loves her life. Maybe you need to look inside yourself and address your own problems before doling out unsolicited advice to perfectly contented strangers.

As for myself, I will continue to only take advice from people who can spell simple words like 'polar'.

Cheers,

Rachel

Brain scramble.

2009-11-29T22:29:00.000-06:00

Maybe it is just the typical end of semester exhaustion, but I have been super out of whack lately.

I am obsessed with moving in June, it is very exciting, but mostly I feel a great need for a change. I think my emotions are in a rut. The last couple years have really drained me and I don't really feel like I have an emotional North to guide my internal compass.

I could not tell you what I want because I do not know. I really just want time to myself. Time to get things back on track and realign myself.

Only two weeks left of school.

Sigh.

Gotta finish the marathon before I can attend to myself, two weeks, two weeks... two weeks until it is Rachel time.

Passion

2009-10-21T01:29:00.000-05:00

- allows a person to not sleep, not eat, not socialize and still feel amazingly happy.

This is what is driving me through my life right now. A passion for science, for conservation, for the ocean and for helping people understand the vastness of what nature offers us.

I have no idea where I will live in 9 months and that is so exciting I can barely take the suspense.

I believe that I could live forever sustained by this passion and never once feel the need for input of another.

I am happy, good at what I do and proud of my hardwork.

However, this does not prevent me from disliking the bug who snuck inside my house and is buzzing around.

Cheers and happy day to everyone!

:)

"Pro" -crastinating

2009-10-01T21:11:00.001-05:00

I have done everything to avoid studying for my Geology test tomorrow.

"Everything?" you ask.

Have you:

Watched The Office reruns?
   -yes

Looked up apartments in Maine?
   -yes

Given yourself a haircut?
   -yes

Practiced the moved to the Thriller dance following an instructional video series?
   -uhh.... yes, yes I have.

It's for my friend's wedding!

Hello Maine

2009-10-01T19:42:00.000-05:00

First university to respond to my email queries about having an opening for me in Fall 2010.

Joint Masters of Marine Science and Marine Policy at the University of Maine.

Weee! My first glimmer of interest by a potential advisor!

:)

Fish Passion

2009-10-01T14:44:00.001-05:00

What gets this peaceful Southern lady fired up?

Overfishing, the callous and indiscriminate removal of marine life from OUR collective oceans.

So fired up, in fact, that I am going to start a new blog devoted to the crisis our oceans are facing.

So fired up, my hands shake when I think of how bleak this vast ecosystems future looks.

So fired up, I am gonna do something about it!

No sitting idly by as 70% of our planet get plundered so people in Cleveland can eat mediocre spicy tuna rolls at an all you can eat Japanese restaurant.

I am a woman of action and my time to act is now.

Well, maybe not exactly now- because I gotta get into grad school, but this is my life's purpose and I shall not back down until all fish are safe and the jellyfish have lost the war.

Oktoberfest

2009-09-29T20:44:00.000-05:00

I love Fall. My indicator that Fall has indeed come to South Texas is the arrival of Oktoberfest beer.

It never fails that I will forget that I really don't care for Spaten's Oktoberfest and buy it first. It does not please my pallet. Sadly, it is always one of the first available beers. Soon, the rest will come. Orange colored, spicy and delicious!

Give me some Irish cheddar, some salty pretzels and a pint glass full of Fall!

Free time?

2009-09-22T23:39:00.000-05:00

not in existence.

But finding, I really don't mind as I am so in love with what I am doing and the idea of what the future holds!

I do miss the beach though.

F'ed up dinner :(

2009-09-21T21:09:00.000-05:00

Didn't think idea through and tried to make oven "fried" chicken with no oil involved, at all.

Added oil sprinkles to pan at last minute, and now oven smokes.

Also, have hard avocados for my salad...

At least desert should be fool-proof: sautéed pears, oatmeal cookie crumbles and ice cream.

Guess we can fill up on that if all else bombs!

:)

Doing what you love.

2009-09-11T00:39:00.000-05:00

There is no substitute.

No alternative.

No other options.

Your gut tells you, you know the answer, and you should listen, always.

Satisfaction in life comes from listening to your gut and following your happiness.

Exciting day of research!

2009-09-09T20:29:00.000-05:00

I found two people in schools I can easily see myself getting accepted into whose research involves my passion- bluefin tuna!

The contenders:

Texas A&M, Galveston. I was actually supposed to move here for my undergrad- so, I have already been accepted here once. And, I know people who have completed graduate degrees in the very same lab I now dream of! And, my current mentor knows and works with my dream future mentor- so, surely he can put in a good word or two! I feel good about this option. Although my lab manager did say this lab is very competitive.

The other possibility is at the University of Maryland. This potential future graduate mentor works with the other one, but he is not in Texas which would be a nice change! I would love to be in this part of the world.

So many interesting options are out there for the future! I change my mind daily, but man oh man- did finding these tuna researchers with just a few degrees of separation from me get me all jazzed up!! Weee!!!!!!!

Suck.

2009-09-06T10:38:00.000-05:00

Ten days into hard core working out and it's weigh in day #2...

Really?

I gained 0.4 pounds?

Really?

Bah, here's hoping next Sunday brings better news!

Nice boys don't kiss like that-

2009-09-03T23:42:00.001-05:00

Thank you Mark Darcy because, "Yes, they fucking do."

And thanks to the Universe for good friends who love Bridget Jones' Diary, margaritas and nachos as much as myself.

Sore from working from working out like a madwoman, and tired, but happy. Happy for good friends, good tequila and good chick flicks!

Life is so good!

:)

My life these days.

2009-09-01T22:44:00.001-05:00

Working out- I put this first as I didn't have gym access all Summer and now am a kid in a candy store! Yoga, kickboxing, pilates... I am eating up the free aerobics classes like sour patch kids!

Dogs- thirty minutes walk, two times a day. Bare minimum! Trying to keep the ladies as healthy as possible!

GRE- ugh, basic math, big words... bleh. Gotta get a good score!

Grad school mentors and grant applications... exciting! Also, ready to be done and have somewhere lined up for next Fall!

Good tequila and imitation Grand Marnier- mmmm... so expensive and so yummy! Best margaritas forty bucks can buy!

Time for a dog walk!

Ups and downs

2009-08-24T08:48:00.000-05:00

I try really hard to not squander precious time here on this planet being sad or depressed. I feel I wasted so much time in my younger days because I was so unhappy and felt so alone all the time. I thought I was a tortured soul- which is ironic because it has been suicides of people I care about that helped me to realize life is for celebrating, not enduring. And I try to not focus on little things and appreciate every day for the small joys.

It is so easy to feel alone. Push a few people away and it is easy to convince yourself you are alone in the world. Put your guard up and build a few walls and you are untouchable- when the truth is your frieds are all still there, just a phone call away.

I feel a little lost right now. I guess I don't know where I am headed or what is going on right now. The only thing I feel I am sure about is that I love my work and I am so thankful to have that one thing to focus my energy on. A focal point to keep my eye on while everything else settles into place.

I could barely get out of bed yesterday, but that was yesterday, and to be truthful, I didn't even realize anything was wrong until about 5 pm when it occured to be, "Hey, I am usually out doing things at this point!" And maybe I was just tired, it's been a hectic summer for me, sometimes we all need to hibernate.

Today will not be squandered, I am going to seize the day and "live deliberately" (Thanks Thoreau)!

The world awaits!

(And my spell check button is missing! Where did it go?)

Unspeakable joy.

2009-08-21T20:14:00.003-05:00

Something I have fantasized about at length for a few months now-

brand new pillows!!!

Amazing! Heaven!

If you don't remember when you last replaced your pillows I recommend this:

1. Take off pillowcases, do not immediately replace.

2. Inspect and wonder, "So, do I actually drool that much- or was it the dogs?"

3. Shudder and go replace all pillows.

I got Ralph Lauren extra firm, amazing, heavenly pillows for an astonishing $5.49 each at Ross Dress for Less!

Woo-hoo! Cannot wait to sleep tonight!

Big sigh.

2009-08-21T08:47:00.002-05:00

The value of waking up in one's own bed after a few weeks on the road cannot be descibed.

I was confused when I first began to rouse, "Where am I?", I pondered. "Oh yeah, home!"

Big sigh. "Ahhhh....."

So much to say, so little energy!

2009-08-20T18:24:00.002-05:00

Been a long month!

Been to New Mexico, Boston and everywhere in between!

Had many ups and downs along the way.

Broke a rental car which may cost me a ton of money.

Saw some beautiful places I had never see before!

Caught up with an old friend or two- but sadly, missed a few a long the way.

Got chased away from Florida by a tropical storm.

Ate the best meatloag ever cooked!

And had a few tiki drinks!

And now, the lady goes to get her doggies and takes a well deserved nap!

Tequila + old friends = big hangover

2009-08-06T23:39:00.002-05:00

Love the stimulating intellectual discussions until 4 am.

Love making memories with both old and new friends.

Love the fresh lime juice margaritas.

Hate waking up the next day to realize we overdid it, in a big way.

Bleh-

tomorrow will be a beautiful day!

:)

Heading out West

2009-08-01T13:56:00.002-05:00

There is something so soothing about driving into the West. No cities, no traffic.

Just a big open sky, the road unfolding before you and your thoughts.

Big happy sigh.

Ahhhhhhh........

Things left to do before leaving town

2009-07-29T22:02:00.000-05:00

1. Make suitcase close

2. Paint toenails

Road trippin towards the future

2009-07-29T19:54:00.004-05:00

I've got 50 resumes to give to potential graduate advisors stapled together with a hand signed cover letter my wonderful lab manager said was excellent, printed on recycled paper, folded into thirds and put neatly inside of recycled envelopes

I have a poster displaying my research which I have slaved over for the last six weeks, or two years if you count the actual research part- which I promptly ripped the corner of after printing.

I have a rental car for 11 days and a hostel reserved for 8 nights.

I have a dog sitter.

I have a handle of vodka and a box of wine.

I have a list of presentations pertaining to fish, conservation or geospatial systems which I will be attending next week at the Ecological Society of America's national meeting in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

I have a great friend willing to drive to NM from south Texas with me in the spirit of the great American road trip.

I have dogs to kiss goodbye and a basil plant to drop off down the street.

I have friends to meet in ABQ: new, old and as of yet unknown.

Now, I just gotta get my clothes into one suitcase!

Thoughts

2009-07-21T23:38:00.002-05:00

Hear roommmate, or roommate's boyfriend, clipping their toenails...

-why do I feel they are flying everywhere?

Do I judge too quickly?

(after observation)

No.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

2009-07-21T18:00:00.003-05:00

Nuthin' like packing for a conference when you have been without a gym membership or freetime all summer! So much fun!!!

Analysis of a spicy bloody mary.

2009-07-18T12:20:00.002-05:00

When I used to think of the ingredients involved in a bloody mary, I cringed. Seriously, you want me to drink tomato juice and vodka? For breakfast? No thank you.

Then on a sunny January afternoon, I went into Molly's at the Market in New Orleans. Everyone ordered bloody marys, I got water.

I tasted someone's bloody mary out of foodie curiousity and the world exploded into a delicious sensation of flavors and refreshment! I promptly ordered my own, and several more after that, and have since become quite the lover of blody marys.

It is breakfast in a glass. It is a Sunday morning anyday of the week, but I try to save my early afternoon boozing for non-working days ;)

I carefully watched the sassy, tattooed bartender at Molly's as she crafted me some liquid perfection and I wrote down every single one of the many ingredients that made up the spicy heaven in a glass.

I took that list home and tried to recreate it- and well, my culinary style is more interpretive than by the book, so I changed things and tried things and the ending result is a pretty mean bloody mary that has friends running over to visit anytime I whip up a pitcher.

Spicy Sunday Bloody Mary:

Get a large cup (or pitcher) and fill with ice. I don't think anyone wants to drink warm tomato juice- think cold, cold, cold. Cold = refreshing and lovely! I do vodka first, so I can keep track of how much I add. I dunno how much, depends on the day and crowd. Maybe a shot and a half per person- maybe 2?

Then add a few good shakes of worstershire sauce. A dash of Cajun chef hot sauce (optional- I sometimes pass on this). A splash of olive or pickle juice. A good shake or two of Tony Chachere's Cajun Seasoning. I like to add some fresh ground black pepper. A generous squeeze of fresh lemon and lime juice. Then equal parts Spicy V8 and Mr. and Mrs. T's Spicy Bloody Mary mix.

I make these in mason jars usually, so I put on the lid and give it a good shake until everything is mixed and very cold. In a pitcher I stir for a few minutes.

Garnish with lemon and lime wedges, olives, celery stalks, and if you can- the best garnish of all: pickled green beans. I get a jar or two at the grocery store everytime I got to New Orleans. They really set off the bloody mary and I also use the juice inside the drink also.

Then, find a shady stoop or patio table. Gather friends. Enjoy some spicy conversation and beverages.

Repeat if necessary until it becomes naptime.

Have a happy Sunday.
:)