plankton

That is what I am these days, planktonic larvae just floating on the current.

It seemed for a while that I would have more graduate school options than I could shake a stick at, but funding keeps shutting me down, and I am sick of waiting for something concrete to pan out!  I have been working at getting into a graduate program where all is paid for since at least August, about nine months.  Basically, I am sick of the whole mess.

So, I have started to look for jobs.  I have found about five so far, spread throughout the southeast US.  My applications should be submitted by Friday.

Will I go to graduate school?  Will I get a job?  Will I stay here and waste a few more years?  Time will certainly tell.

All I can do is wait, drift with the current, and go where it takes me.  Exciting.  Scary.  Frustrating.  Relax, be plankton, go with the Universe- it will take us where we need to go.

*sigh*

Think plankton...

Quick thought.

I like to drink a lot.

I love trying new flavors.

I am captivated by the art of making a perfect cocktail.

I love talking with friends over a drink.

I love opening a new bottle of wine, or champagne!

But, I don't like being drunk.

I spent three days in New Orleans last week and not once did I cross that threshold, which seems crazy because we did drink quite frequently on the trip.  Being drunk just feels yucky to me, and let's not even mention how miserable a hangover makes me!

I'd be so happy to spend the rest of my life never once being drunk again.  The problem I encounter is what I started with: I love to drink for the ritual and experiences! Most times that I have drank too much has been the result of forgetting I have the alcohol tolerance of a preteen!

That's all.

Getting closer!

Wow!  It's March!  By the end of this month, I should know where I will be moving in July!

The options are so diverse and a bit scary!  One feels comfortable, that is in Mississippi.  I know I would like living here.  I know what to expect here.  I know the climate.  I know the food, the lingo, the music- I feel comfortable with the whole idea.  I know it would be relaxed, and I would fit in, and it would be great!  But, that's kind of boring and I have other scarier options out there.

Such as Maine, which is definitely, maybe, interested in having me.  Or Virginia, which was my "Out of My League" school, so why are they engaging me in conversation and taking me on a tour of their facility next week?  Massachusettes- which is still a complete mystery to me.  And Seattle, who may just be too cool for me after all.

All in all, I am tired of wondering and ready for answers!  But, I am trying to regain my sense that this move will be exciting- a new place!  Very new, and probably not comfortable.  There will be growing pains.  I will feel discomfort.

I just have to get the energy to keep pushing the professors I am talking to so they don't forget about me!    It has been a marathon looking for a graduate school,  but it would be silly to give up now- I am almost at the finish line!!!!!

Lame.

I don't think I can afford a vacation, even a wonderfully cheap one, when I am moving to a new city (yet unknown) a week after I would return.

I forgot about things like apartment deposits, pet deposits, moving trucks, possibly still having to pay rent in Corpus for a month after moving (double rent in June! Yuck!)....

I can't exactly take a vacation and then call up my parents begging for money to help me move.   No, that would be really, really lame.

Almost as lame as not getting to take an amazing Mexican vacation, but sadly not quite.

Honestly, moving is gonna tap me out.

So, my much needed and hey, deserved, vacation is postponed.  Hoping for August, but maybe as late as October.  Postponed, but not canceled.  Never give up on your dreams, I have wanted to take this trip since as long as I can remember- and it is happening this year!  Just not in May, not before I move.

Lame.

All nice men are still stupid boys

-says my sister, and she is a smart lady.

I wanted to know:  Do they act better?  Do they mature?  Do they grow out of it?

No, she says, no.  They never do.  She called them silly boys.  I call them stupid boys.  They amaze me in a good way.  And then they disappoint me.  And then they amaze me again.

But, that's men for you.

I am just glad I am not a lesbian because I would rather deal with stupid boys, than crazy bitches.

;)

Sorry women of the world,

While you have all been working hard to keep advancing the status of women everywhere, I have been doing the opposite.

You see, I discovered today that when I want men to agree with me more easily, I use a baby voice, ala Marilyn Monroe or (yikes!) Paris Hilton, and I put on that cute "I am not sure in the world, please help me strong man" face.

I was surprised to realize, after thinking about it some more, that I do this all the time.  You do attract more flies with sugar after all, so I doubt I will be changing my ways.

"I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it."
— Marilyn Monroe 
;)

More quotes from the blonde bombshell:

"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition."

"Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world." 

"We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets." 

"Sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together"

Should be...

studying Physics, but I am so sick of it!!!

In ten days, I will be headed off on a Spring Break adventure.

Stop 1- Houston, staying at old roommate's new loft in downtown.  Sounds pretty fancy, hope me and my science nerd gals are cool enough. 

Stop 2- New Orleans!!  1 night, city tour for my friend who hasn't been before, lots of walking and sight seeing.

Stop 3- Ocean Springs, MS, checking out a grad school, staying in the dorms.  Next day at the beach, then back to New Orleans for 2 more nights of having too much fun!!!  Some swamp hiking included.

Stop 4- home, ever so briefly, then off to Virginia to check out another grad school.  

It's gonna be a whirlwind week!!