it's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then
Showing posts with label insane events. Show all posts
Showing posts with label insane events. Show all posts

The Joys of Cramming

Why does it always happen that things get procrastinated until they just can't be pushed back any longer?

It is five... in the morning and, nope, I am not just waking up to study- I am still up studying!

I am officially insane! I had all last weekend and all week to study- hell, I had all last week too! But, no, here I am - getting my learn on when I should be fast asleep in my heavenly bed. I had to go to the beach, have a party and go on long bike rides.

Well, put in that perspective, it's worth it! I just hope I can pull off A's on the two tests I have tomorrow. The first tests in a class always make me nervous because you don't really know what to expect.

Well, it's five and my first Organic Chemistry test is a mere six hours away! **Don't Panic!** Back to the books-

I got soul, but I'm not a soul-ja.

For obvious reasons (see below), as well as the need to shrink the size of my booty I have been trying to be less car dependent ever since I moved to Corpus. Before I moved, my friends gave me the most amazing bicycle as a going away present. It is a light blue cruiser and just sitting on the seat makes me smile. It is not built for speed, but rather for pleasure and I adore it! I tried to ride it to school last semester, but it never really worked out. It was hot, really hot. In fact, I did ride it to school the first day, in August, and I looked like I had just completed a marathon: shirt drenched in sweat so badly that I went into the book store and bought a new one! I figured I would ride more once it cooled off a little...

Then by mid-semester, I was so frazzled and overwhelmed that the whole thing kinda got shelved. I bought a handlebar basket a few months ago, but I hadn't really tried to carry anything in it... until today.

I should let you know that Winter has finally arrived in my tropical paradise as of Monday morning and it is less than beautiful outside. In fact, it's wet, windy and far too chilly for my sun loving taste. However, I was not to be deterred; I had errands to run and I was using the bike, rain or shine.

Well, rain it was but, I headed out destined for the bank and the grocery store. It's cold, yes, and wet, but I am a woman on a mission. After a minute or so, it's not too bad, quite nice actually, and I make it to the bank. I deposit some ridiculously small checks from my waitressing days that I received in the mail yesterday and headed to the grocery store for a few essentials.

I am riding through the neighborhood with the Juno soundtrack on my I-pod... and hmm... is it my imagination or am I suddenly getting wet... really, really wet. Sky check, ah, yes, more rain. Hard, biting, cold rain. Needles in the face rain. I seek shelter under a large, oak tree in someone's side yard and I wait for the rain to pass.

It doesn't though, no it does not pass, but rather, it intensifies, a lot. Gears turn in my brain and I ponder the situation... Oh, yes, the park has a covered table and it is only three blocks away. So, I ride that way. Turn off the street and into my favorite park. I ride through the grass, splashing mud all over myself and then into the safety of the covered picnic area.

Whooh! Good thinking. I sit cross-legged on top of the concrete table and relax.

Wow, I think, this is really quite enjoyable. What an adventure! Now once the rain stops, I will ride over to buy some groceries and head back home. I turn off my I-pod, lay back and listen to the rain pounding on the metal roof.

But, it is really quite chilly outside and without the body heat generated by riding, I start to feel a bit frigid after about fifteen minutes. I curl my legs up into my chest and pull my hoodie up over my head. Teeth start to chatter.

Oh dear, this is a quite the pickle. Home is two minutes away, I could race home and go buy groceries with my car, but I am not feeling too big on being defeated by a little uninvited rain shower.

Ok, I am really cold now, I must do something because the rain is apparently here to stay. I think again...

Ok if I cut across the park I can be inside of the grocery store in ten minutes at most. I hop back on my bike and cruise across the grass, puddles splashing on the way. The road to the store is not the best one, speed bumps, no side walk and blind turns; people look as me as though I was a lunatic, but I make it there and I feel like a champ!

I figure that my bike basket is about the size of a hand held, grocery basket, so I grab one and make my purchases, smiling all the way from produce to dairy. Then I go to load up...

Uh oh. I messed up. I only had one hand held basket, yes, but it was not level. I filled it above the line and I have too much to carry! With some maneuvering, I figure out how to get everything I bought either on my person, in the basket, or tied to the handle bars and I head, very wobbly out of the parking lot.

I look like a crazy bad lady. I am really unbalanced and therefore I look like I had a few glasses of whiskey before I hit the road. I have grocery bags tied to my handles and a bundle on celery nestled on top of everything as though it were headed home to take its place in a giant bloody Mary for this wino.

The Universe has blessed me with a cessation of rain for the time being and I am more than thankful because I am so off balance that I am basically a disaster waiting to happen! Wobble, wobble, wobble, down the street I go. I go back down the twisty turny street with no sidewalk, laughing, almost manically, all the way. Across Ocean Drive and I am home! Ha ha! Success! I kicked that bike rides butt!

For the rest of the afternoon, I have to deal with what feels like a mild case of hypothermia, but I feel like a champ! I will be headed back tomorrow because I forgot to buy more mayo; the kind made with canola oil, of course!

Ha ha, victory is sweet! Now, where did that celery end up? I think my frost bitten toes could use a drink after all...

The Car of Eternal Stench!

On the way home from Austin after the holidays, I got breakfast tacos at Whatabuger and they were awesome! Fluffy eggs, crispy bacon- just perfect really! I was so pleased.

I had a lot of unloading to do when I got home, so I left the bag in the car. I also thought it was empty and wouldn't be a big deal. I later went grocery shopping that afternoon because I hadn't been home in two weeks in and I also needed to make dog food.

The next time I got in my car was two days later and it smelled kinda bad. I thought it was the forgotten Whataburger bag and so I disposed of it and thought nothing more of the problem.

The next time time I tried to get in my car was this morning; it had been sitting directly in the sun for four days. I was on my way to go get tacos again. I got in and sat down and... it smelled bad.

I mean really bad.

I mean, seriously, "is there a dead animal in here?" bad. Hmmm... look around. No, no dead animals that I can see, no corpses either.

Something under my seat caught my eye- but no, it couldn't be...

It looked like a misshapen tube of ground turkey... like what i make my dog food out of... like what I had bought six days earlier at the grocery store and apparently not noticed as it slipped out of the grocery bag and under my car seat!

Oh, ew. Really, really ew. Like maybe the most disgusting thing ever!

By misshapen, I mean it was a tube of ground meat and now is a giant, scary bubble, balloon like bomb of nastiness just waiting to explode. I was actually quite scared to even touch it for fear of mass contamination.

I had to step away from the car to collect my self and avoid throwing up. How do I remove this ticking time bomb? Will it rupture when I touch it? Thoughts of rancid ground turkey splattering everywhere send me into a cussing fury. What do I do? How did this happen? Why! Why now when I am starving and desperately need tacos!

I look around in vain for a man to help me. No, no knights in shinning armor in the parking lot- no, just me. Damn! Oh god, I so do not want to touch this crazy stink bomb. What do I do???

I like to be prepared and am socially responsible, so I have a stash of doggie poop bags in my car for emergencies. I think this qualifies. I gingerly, drape one bag over the distorted tube of funk and with my pointer finger I tap at the tube.

It's what a botanist would call turgid, but unfortunately this is not a well hydrated plant cell with a rigid cell wall to keep it from bursting, this is rotting, stinking meat in a thin plastic wrapper that is stretched to its limit. It's holding on for dear life. The words on the package are comically stretched. Part of me wants to go get my camera, but the other part says, no we are the bomb squad and this situation needs to be diffused. We are currently "CODE RED"! There is no time to waste!

I eventually very carefully removed it by wrapping like four dog poop bags around it and tying them up. I held my breath as I did this, not only out of necessity, but out of fear. I am pretty sure this thing could have exploded and that would have been followed by my vomiting, if not also contracting the Bubonic Plague and having to pay a hoodlum to "steal" my car and burn it to kill the eternal smell!

Once the threat has been removed, the car's smell is still unbearable. Imagine the stinkiest dumpster ever. Now imagine trying to sit inside in to run about town.

Needless to say, I got no tacos. :(

-and I will not be driving today. Hello bicycle!