She likes the dark.

The wind picked up this evening; it's so alive here. It whips around you as if to say, "Come on! Let's go! I am carrying life! Catch me!"

It makes me want to do pirouettes on my balcony- too bad I don't actually have one.

The artist, sometimes known as Prince, sings to me this evening- I always wonder, what seven will fall? and why? Hopefully, I am not one of them! Maybe I am one of the "young so educated they never grow old"?
;)

A star twinkles and winks at me- I blow a kiss back at the Universe and offer a humble, "Thank you."

I realize, I don't know the words to "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" any longer. Ah, there goes youth right out the french doors and into the wind. I can, however, recite The Lorax and The Walrus and the Carpenter, and surely that counts for something, somewhere.

It's been an odd week. Things have been out of line in my universe... My sister bore a child whom I have yet to meet, but am excited to know soon. And I was happy, but sick.

I feel so at peace here, with the wind. It's like bad things can't linger because they just get blown away. This gives me hope as Spring approaches. Spring has been a rough time of year for me for a long time now- it reminds me of death.

I like how palm trees bend with the wind, it just brushes off their backs and there they stand so straight- never bending in the garish ways of the more rigid oak. I want to be a palm tree- stand tall in the wind of life and let it all just float away...

The Joys of Cramming

Why does it always happen that things get procrastinated until they just can't be pushed back any longer?

It is five... in the morning and, nope, I am not just waking up to study- I am still up studying!

I am officially insane! I had all last weekend and all week to study- hell, I had all last week too! But, no, here I am - getting my learn on when I should be fast asleep in my heavenly bed. I had to go to the beach, have a party and go on long bike rides.

Well, put in that perspective, it's worth it! I just hope I can pull off A's on the two tests I have tomorrow. The first tests in a class always make me nervous because you don't really know what to expect.

Well, it's five and my first Organic Chemistry test is a mere six hours away! **Don't Panic!** Back to the books-

Fat Tuesday, Red Beans and Destiny.

It always is so exciting to me when I rediscover a part of myself that has been lost in the shuffle. Oh New Orleans, ah.... The magical dreamland of my younger days. I knew it before I even arrived. What is it about that mystical place which makes my soul feel so at ease?

It could be the amazing food everywhere, the buildings all so wrought with stories of the past, the way alcohol is so weaved into life there, the remnants of gentile Southern life, or maybe the way my soul eases into a groove whenever she's on my mind.

Ah, New Orleans. I always imagined I would end up there, sooner or later. I have to admit, ever since the aftermath of Katrina, I have been scared. Tales of martial law, rampant crime and a lack of basic sanitation services turned my mouth sour whenever she crossed my mind. The first time I was back post-Katrina, I could barely stomach the heartache I knew was all encompassing. I didn't want to be a voyeur into the absolute misery all around.

I can't take that so much went wrong there and still does. I have worried intensely about my sister who lives there. I have agonized that the government seems to have forgotten the entire Gulf coast. I have wished I could be a part of the reconstruction, part of the healing.

A symbol for New Orleans has always been the comedy and tragedy masks- and I think it is a great representation of the people I have known there. Suffer more than most could take and yet, laugh, really laugh, louder. Really live and experience all extremes this life has to offer.

I contemplate my strange, at times consuming, fascination for New Orleans today while red beans simmer on the stove. The smell wafts out my french doors into the courtyard and distracts my neighbors. Louis Armstrong's song creates magic in the air. I have a giant cooler of hurricanes, a bottle of Bourbon and am expecting many laughs to come later in the evening. Maybe we can get there tonight, maybe if we try hard enough, we can have some of my fair lady here tonight- if only in passing.

New Orleans has been described as a beautiful woman, missing an eye and a leg, with a drinking problem, who will put you right at ease, pour you a drink and steal your wallet. Tonight, we celebrate the idealist version and in time, I will make my peace with the real one and there you will find me, in that sacred place where my soul feels so inspired.

There I will, one day, allow that itching in my soul to be soothed.