Ups and downs

I try really hard to not squander precious time here on this planet being sad or depressed. I feel I wasted so much time in my younger days because I was so unhappy and felt so alone all the time. I thought I was a tortured soul- which is ironic because it has been suicides of people I care about that helped me to realize life is for celebrating, not enduring. And I try to not focus on little things and appreciate every day for the small joys.

It is so easy to feel alone. Push a few people away and it is easy to convince yourself you are alone in the world. Put your guard up and build a few walls and you are untouchable- when the truth is your frieds are all still there, just a phone call away.

I feel a little lost right now. I guess I don't know where I am headed or what is going on right now. The only thing I feel I am sure about is that I love my work and I am so thankful to have that one thing to focus my energy on. A focal point to keep my eye on while everything else settles into place.

I could barely get out of bed yesterday, but that was yesterday, and to be truthful, I didn't even realize anything was wrong until about 5 pm when it occured to be, "Hey, I am usually out doing things at this point!" And maybe I was just tired, it's been a hectic summer for me, sometimes we all need to hibernate.

Today will not be squandered, I am going to seize the day and "live deliberately" (Thanks Thoreau)!

The world awaits!

(And my spell check button is missing!  Where did it go?)