Still bullet brained

• My mom said I got my love of travel from her.  Thanks mom, one of her best genetic gifts!
• Pops called me "highly adaptable".  I agree and think this is perhaps from his genetic contribution.  It also felt like praise and it makes me feel wonderful when I receive praise from a parent.  Guess I am still a child eager for parental approval.
• I accepted the offer of an assistantship at the University of Southern Mississippi.  So, unless something changes or goes wrong, and they might, I am moving to Ocean Springs, MS at the end of May.  Kind of exciting, but I am still skeptical that this is a solid plan.  I get my official offer the first week of May.   When I get that, I will pop open the " I know where I am going to grad school champagne" my sister bought me for Christmas.
• Finals approaching.  Have two Physics tests in next two weeks and am not thrilled.  Must pass though, so I can never think about Physics again!!!!!!!
• Time to study Physics....

And yet...

-at the same time, I do really want to go to school.  I have worked so hard and now have a free Masters waiting for me.  The facilities there are amazing, the lab is in the middle of the forest, the town is beautiful!

I really wish I knew what the right answer was...

Unsettled

I can't think these days.  Too many big choices, can't put together thoughts in my brain any longer.  I am hoping this passes soon.  For today, bullets:

• My back has been killing me!  Makes everything more difficult.
• I have been offered a fully funded fellowship at a beautiful school in Mississippi.
• Unless I change my mind, I am turning it down because the cost to move there would be financially crippling at the present.   I am thinking I need to work for a few years before I attend graduate school.  I will make this final decision on Monday.
• I applied for a couple of jobs in the Corpus area which are exactly in my field, except...
• I am thinking I am almost certainly going to teach next year.  I talked to schools here and feel confident I can get hired at one, except...
• My sister teaches middle school science in Austin and wants to see if she can get me a job at her school.  I would have to leave the coast, which makes me sad.  However, I could stand to spend at least a year in closer proximity to my family.
• I am planning to go to El Salvador in July.  Booking my ticket as soon as I am sure I am not accepting the science job in Corpus.
• I am eating leftover pizza for breakfast, but it is homemade, whole wheat so I don't feel that bad about it.

Change of heart

I think I don't want to go to school next year.  I really want this job I applied for in Rockport!!!  I am not bragging, but my application looked awesome!  I put a ton of effort into it and I will be quite surprised if I don't  get an interview.

So now, I am studying fish furiously for the interview.  I want to blow them away and get hired!  The position closes in late April, so I should hear in early May about an interview.  Suspense will kill me!

I would be great at this job!  Cross fingers, toes and legs!!!

Fast Forward

Seriously, this semester has been a whole lotta yuck!  Five more weeks to freedom!  Which is good because I don't care about anything anymore.

Current opinions:

Gonna get into a graduate school?
-eh, whatever.

Gonna pass all my classes?
-meh, maybe not the Calculus

Gonna move far, far away?
-man,  I just wanna relax a bit

The current verdict?
Probably will go to the University of Southern Mississippi, permitting I get in and am offered the project I want.  UNLESS, I get offered a job first.

I couldn't tell you what I want anymore.  I am too tired and just over the whole situation.  Enough already!  I would be a happy lady to get one of the jobs I am applying for here in Corpus.  They pay well, are exactly in my field and I wouldn't have to pay double rent in June.  Both would give me the opportunity to move to another area of the coastal bend, which is a change and would be good.  Both new places are closer to the water.

Soooo..... we wait some more.  Bleh.

Cliff Hanger

Will I get a job?  Or will a graduate school come through with an offer of funding first?

Do I stay in Texas?  Or will I get to escape her ironclad grasp?

How long do I have to wait for answers?

Stay tuned, I guess.

If it weren't me, I'd change the channel already.

Jobby jobs

I applied for 5 today.  2 in this area that I should have a very good chance of getting!

Now, can something please pan out already?

Suspense is getting old!

Excited!

The prospect of getting a job is getting me all a twitter!  I really want this job in Houston that I am applying for.  It sounds inspiring!  Submitting my application today!!

Woo woo!!!

Take that painfully slow graduate funding committees!!

:)

plankton

That is what I am these days, planktonic larvae just floating on the current.

It seemed for a while that I would have more graduate school options than I could shake a stick at, but funding keeps shutting me down, and I am sick of waiting for something concrete to pan out!  I have been working at getting into a graduate program where all is paid for since at least August, about nine months.  Basically, I am sick of the whole mess.

So, I have started to look for jobs.  I have found about five so far, spread throughout the southeast US.  My applications should be submitted by Friday.

Will I go to graduate school?  Will I get a job?  Will I stay here and waste a few more years?  Time will certainly tell.

All I can do is wait, drift with the current, and go where it takes me.  Exciting.  Scary.  Frustrating.  Relax, be plankton, go with the Universe- it will take us where we need to go.

*sigh*

Think plankton...

Quick thought.

I like to drink a lot.

I love trying new flavors.

I am captivated by the art of making a perfect cocktail.

I love talking with friends over a drink.

I love opening a new bottle of wine, or champagne!

But, I don't like being drunk.

I spent three days in New Orleans last week and not once did I cross that threshold, which seems crazy because we did drink quite frequently on the trip.  Being drunk just feels yucky to me, and let's not even mention how miserable a hangover makes me!

I'd be so happy to spend the rest of my life never once being drunk again.  The problem I encounter is what I started with: I love to drink for the ritual and experiences! Most times that I have drank too much has been the result of forgetting I have the alcohol tolerance of a preteen!

That's all.

Getting closer!

Wow!  It's March!  By the end of this month, I should know where I will be moving in July!

The options are so diverse and a bit scary!  One feels comfortable, that is in Mississippi.  I know I would like living here.  I know what to expect here.  I know the climate.  I know the food, the lingo, the music- I feel comfortable with the whole idea.  I know it would be relaxed, and I would fit in, and it would be great!  But, that's kind of boring and I have other scarier options out there.

Such as Maine, which is definitely, maybe, interested in having me.  Or Virginia, which was my "Out of My League" school, so why are they engaging me in conversation and taking me on a tour of their facility next week?  Massachusettes- which is still a complete mystery to me.  And Seattle, who may just be too cool for me after all.

All in all, I am tired of wondering and ready for answers!  But, I am trying to regain my sense that this move will be exciting- a new place!  Very new, and probably not comfortable.  There will be growing pains.  I will feel discomfort.

I just have to get the energy to keep pushing the professors I am talking to so they don't forget about me!    It has been a marathon looking for a graduate school,  but it would be silly to give up now- I am almost at the finish line!!!!!

Lame.

I don't think I can afford a vacation, even a wonderfully cheap one, when I am moving to a new city (yet unknown) a week after I would return.

I forgot about things like apartment deposits, pet deposits, moving trucks, possibly still having to pay rent in Corpus for a month after moving (double rent in June! Yuck!)....

I can't exactly take a vacation and then call up my parents begging for money to help me move.   No, that would be really, really lame.

Almost as lame as not getting to take an amazing Mexican vacation, but sadly not quite.

Honestly, moving is gonna tap me out.

So, my much needed and hey, deserved, vacation is postponed.  Hoping for August, but maybe as late as October.  Postponed, but not canceled.  Never give up on your dreams, I have wanted to take this trip since as long as I can remember- and it is happening this year!  Just not in May, not before I move.

Lame.

All nice men are still stupid boys

-says my sister, and she is a smart lady.

I wanted to know:  Do they act better?  Do they mature?  Do they grow out of it?

No, she says, no.  They never do.  She called them silly boys.  I call them stupid boys.  They amaze me in a good way.  And then they disappoint me.  And then they amaze me again.

But, that's men for you.

I am just glad I am not a lesbian because I would rather deal with stupid boys, than crazy bitches.

;)

Sorry women of the world,

While you have all been working hard to keep advancing the status of women everywhere, I have been doing the opposite.

You see, I discovered today that when I want men to agree with me more easily, I use a baby voice, ala Marilyn Monroe or (yikes!) Paris Hilton, and I put on that cute "I am not sure in the world, please help me strong man" face.

I was surprised to realize, after thinking about it some more, that I do this all the time.  You do attract more flies with sugar after all, so I doubt I will be changing my ways.

"I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it."
— Marilyn Monroe 
;)

More quotes from the blonde bombshell:

"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition."

"Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world." 

"We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets." 

"Sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together"

Should be...

studying Physics, but I am so sick of it!!!

In ten days, I will be headed off on a Spring Break adventure.

Stop 1- Houston, staying at old roommate's new loft in downtown.  Sounds pretty fancy, hope me and my science nerd gals are cool enough. 

Stop 2- New Orleans!!  1 night, city tour for my friend who hasn't been before, lots of walking and sight seeing.

Stop 3- Ocean Springs, MS, checking out a grad school, staying in the dorms.  Next day at the beach, then back to New Orleans for 2 more nights of having too much fun!!!  Some swamp hiking included.

Stop 4- home, ever so briefly, then off to Virginia to check out another grad school.  

It's gonna be a whirlwind week!!