Choices, choices, choices...

I am sick of them!  I don't want to make them.  I will stomp my foot and pout if need be.

Pivotal, life-changing decisions are not my specialty.  When I moved to Corpus is went something like this:

Impulsive:  "I am quitting my good job as a travel agent and going back to school full-time! Now, where can I get in so last minute?"

Got into A&M-Corpus.

"No wait, I want to go to A&M, Galveston because they are supposed to be a better school.  So, I will apply there."

Got into A&M, Galveston.  Visit Galveston to find an apartment.  Two days later visit Mom at beach in Corpus.  Lease an apartment in Corpus.  Decide I am moving to Corpus for school (ya think?).

Back to the present, two and a half years later, it is approaching decision time again, but this is on a much bigger scale and will ultimately greatly effect the next decade of my life.  This time where to move involves a few new twists:

#1- Leaving Texas.  No way around it.  Could be as far and different as Maine, or as close and familiar as Mississippi.

#2- Where I go to graduate school will directly effect the job I get after graduation.  If I move to Seattle for grad school, I may have to stay on the west coast for a while.  Do I want to do that?  I don't know!

#3- At some point, I like to imagine I will become involved in a relationship with a man.  Where I move will determine who I meet, or reconnect with, which will effect how my romantic life (or lack there of) plays out.  Where does the next love of my life live?  (This probably should have been last because this is not a priority by any means, just a fact.)

#4- I may not see my family for a while if I move farther than Mississippi.  Am I ok with not seeing them?  Do I want a life where my nephews think of me as a mythical creature?  A voice on the phone who they speak with on holidays and birthdays?

I am hoping I magically only get accepted into one graduate school, but it is not looking that way.  I may be the only person in the world hoping to not get accepted to the schools they applied to!  It really is a gut/heart wrenching decision.  I have worked so hard and I deserve to go to the best school for my field, but... how can I leave my family, my friends, my whole life so far behind?   Conversely if I get into an amazing program, how can I not go?  How could I tell a school I once imagined to be out of my league, "No thanks."?

I know things will work out as they should, life works that way, and I am trying to keep an open mind to all possibilities.  Right now, I feel lost.  I am visiting two schools next month, I sure hope that sheds some light on my dilemma!