That when you live with another person, you ought to turn on a radio or tv before you have sex really loudly.
Ew.
The Latest
8 years ago
Freakin' hairstylists!
I hate them!! I try to give them chances, but i is so frustrating to spend $50 and come home looking worse than when you went! She was sweet. She gave me a fine haircut, but I just asked her to even out my bangs and trim the back even. I guess it escapes my notice yesterday that she went on a little layering spree- leaving me with a much different haircut than I had/wanted!
I went in looking like thirties bob:
and came home looking like Carol Brady:
I HATE SALONS!!!
I went in looking like thirties bob:
and came home looking like Carol Brady:
I HATE SALONS!!!
Cleaning
Organizing, cleaning, reorganizing, drinking wine...
Why does a room feel so much better once you have moved everything around? I don't know, but I love rearranging! And sweeping up the dust behind things, so when you look at it you know it is truly clean! Heaven! Well ok, my weird, anal version of heaven!
Back to cleaning, things are looking better around here!
Why does a room feel so much better once you have moved everything around? I don't know, but I love rearranging! And sweeping up the dust behind things, so when you look at it you know it is truly clean! Heaven! Well ok, my weird, anal version of heaven!
Back to cleaning, things are looking better around here!
Holy Teenager!
I got myself a lil' Christmas present, coolest thing ever, a negative scanner. Say hello to teen Rachel.
Actually, I love having bangs!
This is me and my lovely friend Courtney at my Christmas party. I am liking the bangs more and more. I feel more polished, which isn't hard because I normally feel like a hobo. It is hard to take time for your appearance when you get busy! I have been making an effort lately to take better care of myself because even if I am not trying to impress anyone most days, I should make the effort for myself. As should everyone! You can't skimp on the self-care or self-love!
Random blurbs
The semester is almost over! Two days and one final left! I cannot wait spend some more time off campus!!
I have submitted one application for graduate school, to the University of Massachusetts, and I will submit one more tomorrow to the University of Washington- Seattle.
Tomorrow is my Christmas party! Annual tradition in its third year! This will be a blast!
Lastly, romantically, things are good.
Call me old fashioned...
Maybe I am getting to be an old fuddy duddy,or too demanding in my old age, but I truly do believe you should wait until you have been back together with someone more than two days before hugely disappointing them.
I guess other people feel differently.
I guess other people feel differently.
Déjà vu
Is so weird!!
It is always the most random, meaningless stuff- like the combination of typing a word and thinking of a person, and then bam- there it is! -the strangest feeling that you have done that mundane, but unique combination of tasks before.
I always take it to mean I am on the right path in life.
:)
It is always the most random, meaningless stuff- like the combination of typing a word and thinking of a person, and then bam- there it is! -the strangest feeling that you have done that mundane, but unique combination of tasks before.
I always take it to mean I am on the right path in life.
:)
More weird words of wisdom
Ok, this is strange!
Two different boxes of tea, purchased at two different times, locations and stores. Same brand, different flavor.
This morning making my chai tea I didn't have my normal mix of vanilla Bigelow and Good Earth's sweet and spicy, so I used two Good Earth varieties; one vanilla chai and one black chai. Only one had a message on the tea bag.
Then at the last minute I decided to throw a Sweet and Spicy into the mix, because I don't really like the other too- and the message was the same! Crazy! I never get the same tea message, they have lots and lots!
What are my consumer words of wisdom today, "First think, then act."
Ha ha, sound advice indeed.
P.S.
We are going to try and work things out and I am hopeful!
Two different boxes of tea, purchased at two different times, locations and stores. Same brand, different flavor.
This morning making my chai tea I didn't have my normal mix of vanilla Bigelow and Good Earth's sweet and spicy, so I used two Good Earth varieties; one vanilla chai and one black chai. Only one had a message on the tea bag.
Then at the last minute I decided to throw a Sweet and Spicy into the mix, because I don't really like the other too- and the message was the same! Crazy! I never get the same tea message, they have lots and lots!
What are my consumer words of wisdom today, "First think, then act."
Ha ha, sound advice indeed.
P.S.
We are going to try and work things out and I am hopeful!
Out there
Well I did it- foolishly, no doubt, but I put myself 'out there'. I dropped defenses and opened the door again (emotionally) for someone who hurt me rather badly. Why? It is hard to let go of something which once was good, or should have been good, or whatever it is that binds us to certain people.
Maybe it was dumb. Could be really dumb because there were lines which were crossed that will require there to be changes in people's behavior and counseling, if another attempt at this relationship is made.
However, I don't know if it will be made because he didn't respond.
I mean, I didn't expect him to drop everything and run to me, but damn, an acknowledgement would have been nice. This interim time gives me pause to wonder- maybe it is better, maybe I was wrong and weak and sad.
The thing is, I decided, I would rather be wrong and take a chance on happiness, than be right and miss out on a good thing.
I am fortune's fool for sure, but at least I can go on without the regret I would have felt if I had not extended that last hand out to him. Even if he never responds, at least I will know now that I did not let pride or logic lead, I let my heart lead, and if that gets me to the same end, so be it. I will go there knowing I took another chance on love.
And I hope I will never stop taking those chances. When people let their hearts harden and turn bitter, they seem to stop enjoying life.
And that my friends, is what I am here for. Since I reached out, a weight was lifted off of my chest. My heart felt less heavy immediately. Even if I am ignored or scorned or whatever, I know I let my defenses down and was vulnerable.
It felt weird, but good. Regardless of the outcome, I need to do that more often.
Maybe it was dumb. Could be really dumb because there were lines which were crossed that will require there to be changes in people's behavior and counseling, if another attempt at this relationship is made.
However, I don't know if it will be made because he didn't respond.
I mean, I didn't expect him to drop everything and run to me, but damn, an acknowledgement would have been nice. This interim time gives me pause to wonder- maybe it is better, maybe I was wrong and weak and sad.
The thing is, I decided, I would rather be wrong and take a chance on happiness, than be right and miss out on a good thing.
I am fortune's fool for sure, but at least I can go on without the regret I would have felt if I had not extended that last hand out to him. Even if he never responds, at least I will know now that I did not let pride or logic lead, I let my heart lead, and if that gets me to the same end, so be it. I will go there knowing I took another chance on love.
And I hope I will never stop taking those chances. When people let their hearts harden and turn bitter, they seem to stop enjoying life.
And that my friends, is what I am here for. Since I reached out, a weight was lifted off of my chest. My heart felt less heavy immediately. Even if I am ignored or scorned or whatever, I know I let my defenses down and was vulnerable.
It felt weird, but good. Regardless of the outcome, I need to do that more often.
Unrealistic
You ever hope that someone will know just the thing to do to fix something? That just for a moment, they would read your mind and do exactly the right thing?
I hoped that today, I really did. I hoped that if I explained my feelings to him and how upset I was about the whole thing that he would just show up, and then somehow things would be ok again.
I sat outside for an hour, holding my breath every time a car passed.
I could see how it would transpire in my head. In that one moment, all could just be absolved- that one moment of perfection.
Alas, no mind reading, no absolution, no perfect moment. Just me jumping every time a car door closed.
Well, at least I still can feel.
I hoped that today, I really did. I hoped that if I explained my feelings to him and how upset I was about the whole thing that he would just show up, and then somehow things would be ok again.
I sat outside for an hour, holding my breath every time a car passed.
I could see how it would transpire in my head. In that one moment, all could just be absolved- that one moment of perfection.
Alas, no mind reading, no absolution, no perfect moment. Just me jumping every time a car door closed.
Well, at least I still can feel.
Honestly,
I am so bummed out right now.
What can you do when a person repeatedly crosses boundaries, but eventually walk away?
I had to be the person saying, no more chances, however that doesn't mean I like the outcome all that much.
Thinking about watching The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Quote the movie is named for:
What can you do when a person repeatedly crosses boundaries, but eventually walk away?
I had to be the person saying, no more chances, however that doesn't mean I like the outcome all that much.
Thinking about watching The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
[last lines]
Joel: I can't see anything that I don't like about you.
Clementine: But you will! But you will. You know, you will think of things. And I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me.
Joel: Okay.
Clementine: [pauses] Okay.That conversation isn't exactly relevant to my situation today, but I love the idea of this movie- it is essentially an hour and a half expansion of "tis better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all".
Quote the movie is named for:
"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd. "
Chocolate Promises
I love Dove dark chocolate promises, they allow me to satiate my chocolate need, while consuming minimal calories.
They also have cute little "promises" under the wrapper, kinda like a fortune cookie.
Today, I opened my evening's allotment of two and... they had the same promise inside! Both of them! I tried to find an approximate number of possible promises, but could not. However, I do think the odds of this happening are slim, and therefore MUST mean something.
So, what was the promise that the chocolate gods wanted me to heed?
They also have cute little "promises" under the wrapper, kinda like a fortune cookie.
Today, I opened my evening's allotment of two and... they had the same promise inside! Both of them! I tried to find an approximate number of possible promises, but could not. However, I do think the odds of this happening are slim, and therefore MUST mean something.
So, what was the promise that the chocolate gods wanted me to heed?
"Do not look back and ask why, look forward and ask, why not?"Comments, opinions?
Snide
It isn't a pretty look for someone who professes to be a Southern lady.
Given that, I say more sincerely to my anonymous advice giver, thank you for taking time out of your life to read about mine and contribute your thoughts. Blogs are a forum for thoughts and I was wrong to find yours ridiculous.
I do, however, believe myself to be in the best mental health of my life. Therefore, I do not believe I will seek out professional help, but your suggestion was considered as much as it deserved to be.
Outlook is positive. Future is bright. So, thank you for your concern, but I am great. A bit chilly, due to a broken heater, but otherwise, A-ok.
Given that, I say more sincerely to my anonymous advice giver, thank you for taking time out of your life to read about mine and contribute your thoughts. Blogs are a forum for thoughts and I was wrong to find yours ridiculous.
I do, however, believe myself to be in the best mental health of my life. Therefore, I do not believe I will seek out professional help, but your suggestion was considered as much as it deserved to be.
Outlook is positive. Future is bright. So, thank you for your concern, but I am great. A bit chilly, due to a broken heater, but otherwise, A-ok.
Helpful suggestions.
Comment on previous post,
Cheers,
Rachel
"I came across your blog and I think you might need to look into getting so professional help. You seem a bit all over the place, have you ever been tested for bi-polor disease?"Thank you Anonymous for your deep concern, it is truly touching when people care for other people. It is too bad that you are 'Anonymous', as I would love to extend my gratitude for your concern personally.
Be that as it may, I am a happy, well-adjusted woman who loves her life. Maybe you need to look inside yourself and address your own problems before doling out unsolicited advice to perfectly contented strangers.
As for myself, I will continue to only take advice from people who can spell simple words like 'polar'.
Cheers,
Rachel
Brain scramble.
Maybe it is just the typical end of semester exhaustion, but I have been super out of whack lately.
I am obsessed with moving in June, it is very exciting, but mostly I feel a great need for a change. I think my emotions are in a rut. The last couple years have really drained me and I don't really feel like I have an emotional North to guide my internal compass.
I could not tell you what I want because I do not know. I really just want time to myself. Time to get things back on track and realign myself.
Only two weeks left of school.
Sigh.
Gotta finish the marathon before I can attend to myself, two weeks, two weeks... two weeks until it is Rachel time.
I am obsessed with moving in June, it is very exciting, but mostly I feel a great need for a change. I think my emotions are in a rut. The last couple years have really drained me and I don't really feel like I have an emotional North to guide my internal compass.
I could not tell you what I want because I do not know. I really just want time to myself. Time to get things back on track and realign myself.
Only two weeks left of school.
Sigh.
Gotta finish the marathon before I can attend to myself, two weeks, two weeks... two weeks until it is Rachel time.
Passion
- allows a person to not sleep, not eat, not socialize and still feel amazingly happy.
This is what is driving me through my life right now. A passion for science, for conservation, for the ocean and for helping people understand the vastness of what nature offers us.
I have no idea where I will live in 9 months and that is so exciting I can barely take the suspense.
I believe that I could live forever sustained by this passion and never once feel the need for input of another.
I am happy, good at what I do and proud of my hardwork.
However, this does not prevent me from disliking the bug who snuck inside my house and is buzzing around.
Cheers and happy day to everyone!
:)
This is what is driving me through my life right now. A passion for science, for conservation, for the ocean and for helping people understand the vastness of what nature offers us.
I have no idea where I will live in 9 months and that is so exciting I can barely take the suspense.
I believe that I could live forever sustained by this passion and never once feel the need for input of another.
I am happy, good at what I do and proud of my hardwork.
However, this does not prevent me from disliking the bug who snuck inside my house and is buzzing around.
Cheers and happy day to everyone!
:)
"Pro" -crastinating
I have done everything to avoid studying for my Geology test tomorrow.
"Everything?" you ask.
Have you:
Watched The Office reruns?
-yes
Looked up apartments in Maine?
-yes
Given yourself a haircut?
-yes
Practiced the moved to the Thriller dance following an instructional video series?
-uhh.... yes, yes I have.
It's for my friend's wedding!
"Everything?" you ask.
Have you:
Watched The Office reruns?
-yes
Looked up apartments in Maine?
-yes
Given yourself a haircut?
-yes
Practiced the moved to the Thriller dance following an instructional video series?
-uhh.... yes, yes I have.
It's for my friend's wedding!
Hello Maine
First university to respond to my email queries about having an opening for me in Fall 2010.
Joint Masters of Marine Science and Marine Policy at the University of Maine.
Weee! My first glimmer of interest by a potential advisor!
:)
Joint Masters of Marine Science and Marine Policy at the University of Maine.
Weee! My first glimmer of interest by a potential advisor!
:)
Fish Passion
What gets this peaceful Southern lady fired up?
Overfishing, the callous and indiscriminate removal of marine life from OUR collective oceans.
So fired up, in fact, that I am going to start a new blog devoted to the crisis our oceans are facing.
So fired up, my hands shake when I think of how bleak this vast ecosystems future looks.
So fired up, I am gonna do something about it!
No sitting idly by as 70% of our planet get plundered so people in Cleveland can eat mediocre spicy tuna rolls at an all you can eat Japanese restaurant.
I am a woman of action and my time to act is now.
Well, maybe not exactly now- because I gotta get into grad school, but this is my life's purpose and I shall not back down until all fish are safe and the jellyfish have lost the war.
Overfishing, the callous and indiscriminate removal of marine life from OUR collective oceans.
So fired up, in fact, that I am going to start a new blog devoted to the crisis our oceans are facing.
So fired up, my hands shake when I think of how bleak this vast ecosystems future looks.
So fired up, I am gonna do something about it!
No sitting idly by as 70% of our planet get plundered so people in Cleveland can eat mediocre spicy tuna rolls at an all you can eat Japanese restaurant.
I am a woman of action and my time to act is now.
Well, maybe not exactly now- because I gotta get into grad school, but this is my life's purpose and I shall not back down until all fish are safe and the jellyfish have lost the war.
Oktoberfest
I love Fall. My indicator that Fall has indeed come to South Texas is the arrival of Oktoberfest beer.
It never fails that I will forget that I really don't care for Spaten's Oktoberfest and buy it first. It does not please my pallet. Sadly, it is always one of the first available beers. Soon, the rest will come. Orange colored, spicy and delicious!
Give me some Irish cheddar, some salty pretzels and a pint glass full of Fall!
It never fails that I will forget that I really don't care for Spaten's Oktoberfest and buy it first. It does not please my pallet. Sadly, it is always one of the first available beers. Soon, the rest will come. Orange colored, spicy and delicious!
Give me some Irish cheddar, some salty pretzels and a pint glass full of Fall!
Free time?
not in existence.
But finding, I really don't mind as I am so in love with what I am doing and the idea of what the future holds!
I do miss the beach though.
But finding, I really don't mind as I am so in love with what I am doing and the idea of what the future holds!
I do miss the beach though.
F'ed up dinner :(
Didn't think idea through and tried to make oven "fried" chicken with no oil involved, at all.
Added oil sprinkles to pan at last minute, and now oven smokes.
Also, have hard avocados for my salad...
At least desert should be fool-proof: sautéed pears, oatmeal cookie crumbles and ice cream.
Guess we can fill up on that if all else bombs!
:)
Added oil sprinkles to pan at last minute, and now oven smokes.
Also, have hard avocados for my salad...
At least desert should be fool-proof: sautéed pears, oatmeal cookie crumbles and ice cream.
Guess we can fill up on that if all else bombs!
:)
Doing what you love.
There is no substitute.
No alternative.
No other options.
Your gut tells you, you know the answer, and you should listen, always.
Satisfaction in life comes from listening to your gut and following your happiness.
No alternative.
No other options.
Your gut tells you, you know the answer, and you should listen, always.
Satisfaction in life comes from listening to your gut and following your happiness.
Exciting day of research!
I found two people in schools I can easily see myself getting accepted into whose research involves my passion- bluefin tuna!
The contenders:
Texas A&M, Galveston. I was actually supposed to move here for my undergrad- so, I have already been accepted here once. And, I know people who have completed graduate degrees in the very same lab I now dream of! And, my current mentor knows and works with my dream future mentor- so, surely he can put in a good word or two! I feel good about this option. Although my lab manager did say this lab is very competitive.
The other possibility is at the University of Maryland. This potential future graduate mentor works with the other one, but he is not in Texas which would be a nice change! I would love to be in this part of the world.
So many interesting options are out there for the future! I change my mind daily, but man oh man- did finding these tuna researchers with just a few degrees of separation from me get me all jazzed up!! Weee!!!!!!!
The contenders:
Texas A&M, Galveston. I was actually supposed to move here for my undergrad- so, I have already been accepted here once. And, I know people who have completed graduate degrees in the very same lab I now dream of! And, my current mentor knows and works with my dream future mentor- so, surely he can put in a good word or two! I feel good about this option. Although my lab manager did say this lab is very competitive.
The other possibility is at the University of Maryland. This potential future graduate mentor works with the other one, but he is not in Texas which would be a nice change! I would love to be in this part of the world.
So many interesting options are out there for the future! I change my mind daily, but man oh man- did finding these tuna researchers with just a few degrees of separation from me get me all jazzed up!! Weee!!!!!!!
Suck.
Ten days into hard core working out and it's weigh in day #2...
Really?
I gained 0.4 pounds?
Really?
Bah, here's hoping next Sunday brings better news!
Really?
I gained 0.4 pounds?
Really?
Bah, here's hoping next Sunday brings better news!
Nice boys don't kiss like that-
Thank you Mark Darcy because, "Yes, they fucking do."
And thanks to the Universe for good friends who love Bridget Jones' Diary, margaritas and nachos as much as myself.
Sore from working from working out like a madwoman, and tired, but happy. Happy for good friends, good tequila and good chick flicks!
Life is so good!
:)
And thanks to the Universe for good friends who love Bridget Jones' Diary, margaritas and nachos as much as myself.
Sore from working from working out like a madwoman, and tired, but happy. Happy for good friends, good tequila and good chick flicks!
Life is so good!
:)
My life these days.
Working out- I put this first as I didn't have gym access all Summer and now am a kid in a candy store! Yoga, kickboxing, pilates... I am eating up the free aerobics classes like sour patch kids!
Dogs- thirty minutes walk, two times a day. Bare minimum! Trying to keep the ladies as healthy as possible!
GRE- ugh, basic math, big words... bleh. Gotta get a good score!
Grad school mentors and grant applications... exciting! Also, ready to be done and have somewhere lined up for next Fall!
Good tequila and imitation Grand Marnier- mmmm... so expensive and so yummy! Best margaritas forty bucks can buy!
Time for a dog walk!
Dogs- thirty minutes walk, two times a day. Bare minimum! Trying to keep the ladies as healthy as possible!
GRE- ugh, basic math, big words... bleh. Gotta get a good score!
Grad school mentors and grant applications... exciting! Also, ready to be done and have somewhere lined up for next Fall!
Good tequila and imitation Grand Marnier- mmmm... so expensive and so yummy! Best margaritas forty bucks can buy!
Time for a dog walk!
Ups and downs
I try really hard to not squander precious time here on this planet being sad or depressed. I feel I wasted so much time in my younger days because I was so unhappy and felt so alone all the time. I thought I was a tortured soul- which is ironic because it has been suicides of people I care about that helped me to realize life is for celebrating, not enduring. And I try to not focus on little things and appreciate every day for the small joys.
It is so easy to feel alone. Push a few people away and it is easy to convince yourself you are alone in the world. Put your guard up and build a few walls and you are untouchable- when the truth is your frieds are all still there, just a phone call away.
I feel a little lost right now. I guess I don't know where I am headed or what is going on right now. The only thing I feel I am sure about is that I love my work and I am so thankful to have that one thing to focus my energy on. A focal point to keep my eye on while everything else settles into place.
I could barely get out of bed yesterday, but that was yesterday, and to be truthful, I didn't even realize anything was wrong until about 5 pm when it occured to be, "Hey, I am usually out doing things at this point!" And maybe I was just tired, it's been a hectic summer for me, sometimes we all need to hibernate.
Today will not be squandered, I am going to seize the day and "live deliberately" (Thanks Thoreau)!
The world awaits!
(And my spell check button is missing! Where did it go?)
It is so easy to feel alone. Push a few people away and it is easy to convince yourself you are alone in the world. Put your guard up and build a few walls and you are untouchable- when the truth is your frieds are all still there, just a phone call away.
I feel a little lost right now. I guess I don't know where I am headed or what is going on right now. The only thing I feel I am sure about is that I love my work and I am so thankful to have that one thing to focus my energy on. A focal point to keep my eye on while everything else settles into place.
I could barely get out of bed yesterday, but that was yesterday, and to be truthful, I didn't even realize anything was wrong until about 5 pm when it occured to be, "Hey, I am usually out doing things at this point!" And maybe I was just tired, it's been a hectic summer for me, sometimes we all need to hibernate.
Today will not be squandered, I am going to seize the day and "live deliberately" (Thanks Thoreau)!
The world awaits!
(And my spell check button is missing! Where did it go?)
Unspeakable joy.
Something I have fantasized about at length for a few months now-
brand new pillows!!!
Amazing! Heaven!
If you don't remember when you last replaced your pillows I recommend this:
1. Take off pillowcases, do not immediately replace.
2. Inspect and wonder, "So, do I actually drool that much- or was it the dogs?"
3. Shudder and go replace all pillows.
I got Ralph Lauren extra firm, amazing, heavenly pillows for an astonishing $5.49 each at Ross Dress for Less!
Woo-hoo! Cannot wait to sleep tonight!
brand new pillows!!!
Amazing! Heaven!
If you don't remember when you last replaced your pillows I recommend this:
1. Take off pillowcases, do not immediately replace.
2. Inspect and wonder, "So, do I actually drool that much- or was it the dogs?"
3. Shudder and go replace all pillows.
I got Ralph Lauren extra firm, amazing, heavenly pillows for an astonishing $5.49 each at Ross Dress for Less!
Woo-hoo! Cannot wait to sleep tonight!
Big sigh.
The value of waking up in one's own bed after a few weeks on the road cannot be descibed.
I was confused when I first began to rouse, "Where am I?", I pondered. "Oh yeah, home!"
Big sigh. "Ahhhh....."
I was confused when I first began to rouse, "Where am I?", I pondered. "Oh yeah, home!"
Big sigh. "Ahhhh....."
So much to say, so little energy!
Been a long month!
Been to New Mexico, Boston and everywhere in between!
Had many ups and downs along the way.
Broke a rental car which may cost me a ton of money.
Saw some beautiful places I had never see before!
Caught up with an old friend or two- but sadly, missed a few a long the way.
Got chased away from Florida by a tropical storm.
Ate the best meatloag ever cooked!
And had a few tiki drinks!
And now, the lady goes to get her doggies and takes a well deserved nap!
Been to New Mexico, Boston and everywhere in between!
Had many ups and downs along the way.
Broke a rental car which may cost me a ton of money.
Saw some beautiful places I had never see before!
Caught up with an old friend or two- but sadly, missed a few a long the way.
Got chased away from Florida by a tropical storm.
Ate the best meatloag ever cooked!
And had a few tiki drinks!
And now, the lady goes to get her doggies and takes a well deserved nap!
Tequila + old friends = big hangover
Love the stimulating intellectual discussions until 4 am.
Love making memories with both old and new friends.
Love the fresh lime juice margaritas.
Hate waking up the next day to realize we overdid it, in a big way.
Bleh-
tomorrow will be a beautiful day!
:)
Love making memories with both old and new friends.
Love the fresh lime juice margaritas.
Hate waking up the next day to realize we overdid it, in a big way.
Bleh-
tomorrow will be a beautiful day!
:)
Heading out West
There is something so soothing about driving into the West. No cities, no traffic.
Just a big open sky, the road unfolding before you and your thoughts.
Big happy sigh.
Ahhhhhhh........
Just a big open sky, the road unfolding before you and your thoughts.
Big happy sigh.
Ahhhhhhh........
Road trippin towards the future
I've got 50 resumes to give to potential graduate advisors stapled together with a hand signed cover letter my wonderful lab manager said was excellent, printed on recycled paper, folded into thirds and put neatly inside of recycled envelopes
I have a poster displaying my research which I have slaved over for the last six weeks, or two years if you count the actual research part- which I promptly ripped the corner of after printing.
I have a rental car for 11 days and a hostel reserved for 8 nights.
I have a dog sitter.
I have a handle of vodka and a box of wine.
I have a list of presentations pertaining to fish, conservation or geospatial systems which I will be attending next week at the Ecological Society of America's national meeting in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
I have a great friend willing to drive to NM from south Texas with me in the spirit of the great American road trip.
I have dogs to kiss goodbye and a basil plant to drop off down the street.
I have friends to meet in ABQ: new, old and as of yet unknown.
Now, I just gotta get my clothes into one suitcase!
I have a poster displaying my research which I have slaved over for the last six weeks, or two years if you count the actual research part- which I promptly ripped the corner of after printing.
I have a rental car for 11 days and a hostel reserved for 8 nights.
I have a dog sitter.
I have a handle of vodka and a box of wine.
I have a list of presentations pertaining to fish, conservation or geospatial systems which I will be attending next week at the Ecological Society of America's national meeting in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
I have a great friend willing to drive to NM from south Texas with me in the spirit of the great American road trip.
I have dogs to kiss goodbye and a basil plant to drop off down the street.
I have friends to meet in ABQ: new, old and as of yet unknown.
Now, I just gotta get my clothes into one suitcase!
Thoughts
Hear roommmate, or roommate's boyfriend, clipping their toenails...
-why do I feel they are flying everywhere?
Do I judge too quickly?
(after observation)
No.
-why do I feel they are flying everywhere?
Do I judge too quickly?
(after observation)
No.
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!
Nuthin' like packing for a conference when you have been without a gym membership or freetime all summer! So much fun!!!
Analysis of a spicy bloody mary.
When I used to think of the ingredients involved in a bloody mary, I cringed. Seriously, you want me to drink tomato juice and vodka? For breakfast? No thank you.
Then on a sunny January afternoon, I went into Molly's at the Market in New Orleans. Everyone ordered bloody marys, I got water.
I tasted someone's bloody mary out of foodie curiousity and the world exploded into a delicious sensation of flavors and refreshment! I promptly ordered my own, and several more after that, and have since become quite the lover of blody marys.
It is breakfast in a glass. It is a Sunday morning anyday of the week, but I try to save my early afternoon boozing for non-working days ;)
I carefully watched the sassy, tattooed bartender at Molly's as she crafted me some liquid perfection and I wrote down every single one of the many ingredients that made up the spicy heaven in a glass.
I took that list home and tried to recreate it- and well, my culinary style is more interpretive than by the book, so I changed things and tried things and the ending result is a pretty mean bloody mary that has friends running over to visit anytime I whip up a pitcher.
Spicy Sunday Bloody Mary:
Get a large cup (or pitcher) and fill with ice. I don't think anyone wants to drink warm tomato juice- think cold, cold, cold. Cold = refreshing and lovely! I do vodka first, so I can keep track of how much I add. I dunno how much, depends on the day and crowd. Maybe a shot and a half per person- maybe 2?
Then add a few good shakes of worstershire sauce. A dash of Cajun chef hot sauce (optional- I sometimes pass on this). A splash of olive or pickle juice. A good shake or two of Tony Chachere's Cajun Seasoning. I like to add some fresh ground black pepper. A generous squeeze of fresh lemon and lime juice. Then equal parts Spicy V8 and Mr. and Mrs. T's Spicy Bloody Mary mix.
I make these in mason jars usually, so I put on the lid and give it a good shake until everything is mixed and very cold. In a pitcher I stir for a few minutes.
Garnish with lemon and lime wedges, olives, celery stalks, and if you can- the best garnish of all: pickled green beans. I get a jar or two at the grocery store everytime I got to New Orleans. They really set off the bloody mary and I also use the juice inside the drink also.
Then, find a shady stoop or patio table. Gather friends. Enjoy some spicy conversation and beverages.
Repeat if necessary until it becomes naptime.
Have a happy Sunday.
:)
Then on a sunny January afternoon, I went into Molly's at the Market in New Orleans. Everyone ordered bloody marys, I got water.
I tasted someone's bloody mary out of foodie curiousity and the world exploded into a delicious sensation of flavors and refreshment! I promptly ordered my own, and several more after that, and have since become quite the lover of blody marys.
It is breakfast in a glass. It is a Sunday morning anyday of the week, but I try to save my early afternoon boozing for non-working days ;)
I carefully watched the sassy, tattooed bartender at Molly's as she crafted me some liquid perfection and I wrote down every single one of the many ingredients that made up the spicy heaven in a glass.
I took that list home and tried to recreate it- and well, my culinary style is more interpretive than by the book, so I changed things and tried things and the ending result is a pretty mean bloody mary that has friends running over to visit anytime I whip up a pitcher.
Spicy Sunday Bloody Mary:
Get a large cup (or pitcher) and fill with ice. I don't think anyone wants to drink warm tomato juice- think cold, cold, cold. Cold = refreshing and lovely! I do vodka first, so I can keep track of how much I add. I dunno how much, depends on the day and crowd. Maybe a shot and a half per person- maybe 2?
Then add a few good shakes of worstershire sauce. A dash of Cajun chef hot sauce (optional- I sometimes pass on this). A splash of olive or pickle juice. A good shake or two of Tony Chachere's Cajun Seasoning. I like to add some fresh ground black pepper. A generous squeeze of fresh lemon and lime juice. Then equal parts Spicy V8 and Mr. and Mrs. T's Spicy Bloody Mary mix.
I make these in mason jars usually, so I put on the lid and give it a good shake until everything is mixed and very cold. In a pitcher I stir for a few minutes.
Garnish with lemon and lime wedges, olives, celery stalks, and if you can- the best garnish of all: pickled green beans. I get a jar or two at the grocery store everytime I got to New Orleans. They really set off the bloody mary and I also use the juice inside the drink also.
Then, find a shady stoop or patio table. Gather friends. Enjoy some spicy conversation and beverages.
Repeat if necessary until it becomes naptime.
Have a happy Sunday.
:)
Not enough me time
That sums up my summer.
Too much-
too much work
too much not going to the beach
too much stress
too much money spent
Too little-
surfing
money
relaxation
studying
I need to regroup, relax, rejuvenate and rethink.
I need more time to work out and have fun.
I need a pause button. Things are moving so fast. Time flies. Days pass. What have I done with the last few months?
I love my life and everything in it so much- I have to find the time to do the things which define me, as a person.
I want to do so much in my lifetime- but time just seems to slip away and I feel like wasted oppurtunities abound.
I just want to make an impact during my short stay on this planet.
Too much-
too much work
too much not going to the beach
too much stress
too much money spent
Too little-
surfing
money
relaxation
studying
I need to regroup, relax, rejuvenate and rethink.
I need more time to work out and have fun.
I need a pause button. Things are moving so fast. Time flies. Days pass. What have I done with the last few months?
I love my life and everything in it so much- I have to find the time to do the things which define me, as a person.
I want to do so much in my lifetime- but time just seems to slip away and I feel like wasted oppurtunities abound.
I just want to make an impact during my short stay on this planet.
This girl she is a writer.
Oh yeah, I have a blog.
Oh yeah, I have the soul of an artist with ideas and imagination and dreams- just hovering, waiting to be released upon the Universe.
Oh crap, I am so busy these days.
Balance- where does one find it? In downward dog or child's pose? Somewhere between a bottle of Cabernet and a margarita? In the eyes of the dogs or man I love? At the beach or in the woods?
Breathe in... breathe out.... Roll your neck from side to side slowly. Sit up straight, close your eyes and imagine nothing.
Peace.
Serenity.
Focus... that I lack so desperatly.
Breathe out- slowly...
Hear the kids jumping on my trampoline outside, having so much fun I can't imagine kicking them off even though they are a law suit waiting to happen.
Breathe in- slowly...
Know you decide to live every moment conciously and must remember to appreciate that life is this. Life is now. Life is a crazy whirlwind which will pass you by if you don't take notice.
This is your life, your moment. Your time is now and no other. Breathe. Live. Appreciate and enjoy every moment- because jet engines can fall out of the sky and end what you take for granted at any moment. Live- this is your life, and it can pass you by.
This is me, going to enjoy the evening with my dogs who love me.
Oh yeah, I have the soul of an artist with ideas and imagination and dreams- just hovering, waiting to be released upon the Universe.
Oh crap, I am so busy these days.
Balance- where does one find it? In downward dog or child's pose? Somewhere between a bottle of Cabernet and a margarita? In the eyes of the dogs or man I love? At the beach or in the woods?
Breathe in... breathe out.... Roll your neck from side to side slowly. Sit up straight, close your eyes and imagine nothing.
Peace.
Serenity.
Focus... that I lack so desperatly.
Breathe out- slowly...
Hear the kids jumping on my trampoline outside, having so much fun I can't imagine kicking them off even though they are a law suit waiting to happen.
Breathe in- slowly...
Know you decide to live every moment conciously and must remember to appreciate that life is this. Life is now. Life is a crazy whirlwind which will pass you by if you don't take notice.
This is your life, your moment. Your time is now and no other. Breathe. Live. Appreciate and enjoy every moment- because jet engines can fall out of the sky and end what you take for granted at any moment. Live- this is your life, and it can pass you by.
This is me, going to enjoy the evening with my dogs who love me.
From South Texas to Maine
That is what I have been doing for the last week- just got home.
I am tired, but it was fun! I had never been to the northeast US before!
Good to be home except that my Lola dog is limping around for some reason. Hope she feels better in the morning!
I am tired, but it was fun! I had never been to the northeast US before!
Good to be home except that my Lola dog is limping around for some reason. Hope she feels better in the morning!
Loving on a Saturday!
I slept in until almost ten today! Now am having a refreshing grilled chicken salad with homeade light ranch dressing. And in a few minutes a friend will pick me up for a morning of burning calories by fighting the waves!
Everything about being at the beach is such a great workout! I think that is part of why I got so fit when I first moved to Corpus Christi!
I would go to the beach almost everyday! But, I had a working car and nothing else to do- which is not exactly the case these days.
My fav. easy marinade for grilled chicken for eating with salads:
2 parts olive oil
1 part redwine vinegar
1 part balsamic vinegar
A few good shakes of Cavender's Greek Seasoning
some cracked black pepper
I pour this directly on the chicken in a tupperware container with a lid and then shake to mix and coat. I think this is best if it marinades for a day, but it tastes good in just thirty minutes! Then, grill it up! I am sure you could bake them also, but here in south Texas we have about 360 days of grilling weather a year, so we make good use of them!
I like to make a few of these at a time and keep them in the fridge. I slice them against the grain for salads by need, so they don't dry out. The flavor of the marinade is so mild, that you can use them with any type of salad or dressing and it doesn't conflict.
Opps... the beach calls, gotta go!
:)
Everything about being at the beach is such a great workout! I think that is part of why I got so fit when I first moved to Corpus Christi!
I would go to the beach almost everyday! But, I had a working car and nothing else to do- which is not exactly the case these days.
My fav. easy marinade for grilled chicken for eating with salads:
2 parts olive oil
1 part redwine vinegar
1 part balsamic vinegar
A few good shakes of Cavender's Greek Seasoning
some cracked black pepper
I pour this directly on the chicken in a tupperware container with a lid and then shake to mix and coat. I think this is best if it marinades for a day, but it tastes good in just thirty minutes! Then, grill it up! I am sure you could bake them also, but here in south Texas we have about 360 days of grilling weather a year, so we make good use of them!
I like to make a few of these at a time and keep them in the fridge. I slice them against the grain for salads by need, so they don't dry out. The flavor of the marinade is so mild, that you can use them with any type of salad or dressing and it doesn't conflict.
Opps... the beach calls, gotta go!
:)
Fessin' up!
Well, I may as well admit it, I am so out of shape! I have probably never been so covered in flab in my entire life! The problem stems from something healthy- for the first time in my life I truly believe that my self worth isn't equal to how attractive people find me. I have lots of friends who like me exactly as I am- fat or thin... and this can become a problem when you are a busy person who loves food and alcohol!
I don't like feeling flabby, but I find I lack the insane motivation I have always had before. I wanna be back at my goal weight, but I know no one else cares if I get there.
My whole life I have been so insecure and insecurity is such a great motivator.... where do you find it when you are secure? I wanna be fit and look great! I do, but I am a full-time student with like four jobs and no car.... How do I find motivation and fit it into my hectic life?
Well, trying to is the first step, and I have been, but in a kinda half-assed way. So, tomorrow I am publically starting to motivate myself back to my strong, toned body of yester-year!
I don't know exactly how or when I will make myself workout, but it has to happen more than twice a week- it just has to! I wanna wear my shorts from two years ago!
Well, here I go! One last cocktail, for a while anyway, a good nights sleep and then back to running in the AM.
I am sure between running, abstaining from alcohol and surfing this girl'll be buff by August! :)
I don't like feeling flabby, but I find I lack the insane motivation I have always had before. I wanna be back at my goal weight, but I know no one else cares if I get there.
My whole life I have been so insecure and insecurity is such a great motivator.... where do you find it when you are secure? I wanna be fit and look great! I do, but I am a full-time student with like four jobs and no car.... How do I find motivation and fit it into my hectic life?
Well, trying to is the first step, and I have been, but in a kinda half-assed way. So, tomorrow I am publically starting to motivate myself back to my strong, toned body of yester-year!
I don't know exactly how or when I will make myself workout, but it has to happen more than twice a week- it just has to! I wanna wear my shorts from two years ago!
Well, here I go! One last cocktail, for a while anyway, a good nights sleep and then back to running in the AM.
I am sure between running, abstaining from alcohol and surfing this girl'll be buff by August! :)
Slacking
That is what I did until yesterday, I hadn't hit the gym since Spring Break!
It is so crazy how you can get so busy and then before you realize you haven't worked out in months and all your hard work has melted back into flab.
What can you do but get up, dust off those running shoes and get back in the game? I am taking a road trip to Maine in about three weeks and I intend to look good in the pictures!!
It is so crazy how you can get so busy and then before you realize you haven't worked out in months and all your hard work has melted back into flab.
What can you do but get up, dust off those running shoes and get back in the game? I am taking a road trip to Maine in about three weeks and I intend to look good in the pictures!!
Feelin' private
Having an enormous change in the very foundation of who you are makes it hard to commnicate yourself to others. I mean, when you hardly know who you are, how do you pontificate on your self?
This last year brought huge changes into my life which I have adjusted to rather well, I believe, and I now find myself in a happy place.
The conundrum now, is whether I truly feel comfortable opening up my new life to the world.
Coming to terms with a new life has been interesting; ups and downs, self-discovery, time alone, time with friends, and time with new and interesting people. My life is about 100 percent different this May than last May and I feel... ok with it.
Naw, I feel great about where I am, who I am and where I am headed. Little secret here, I will say I feel pretty good about who I am headed there with ;)
Life remains good and I feel so positive about the future!
This last year brought huge changes into my life which I have adjusted to rather well, I believe, and I now find myself in a happy place.
The conundrum now, is whether I truly feel comfortable opening up my new life to the world.
Coming to terms with a new life has been interesting; ups and downs, self-discovery, time alone, time with friends, and time with new and interesting people. My life is about 100 percent different this May than last May and I feel... ok with it.
Naw, I feel great about where I am, who I am and where I am headed. Little secret here, I will say I feel pretty good about who I am headed there with ;)
Life remains good and I feel so positive about the future!
Birthday + CLEP test = bleh
-that is all I got.
14 freaking hours straight of macroeconomics, adderall, coffee, wine, water, redbull, water, having to pee, more freakin' water, more adderall, more peeing, iced tea, deliriousness, half a pack of cigarettes, 213 email checks, a grilled cheese sandwich, 359 facebook stopovers and about 30 plays of Louis Armstrong singing "Bare Necessities"...
God save me.
All this equals me still not computing an MPC value correctly and not quite getting what happens when this increases and that decreases or when there is leakage in the circular model.
And to all this I say, bleh!!!
And happy freakin' birthday to me!
I must be maturing with age, last year at this time I had half a handle of Margaritaville tequila in my belly, had been asked to leave a few bars and was still partying it up at a gay club!
14 freaking hours straight of macroeconomics, adderall, coffee, wine, water, redbull, water, having to pee, more freakin' water, more adderall, more peeing, iced tea, deliriousness, half a pack of cigarettes, 213 email checks, a grilled cheese sandwich, 359 facebook stopovers and about 30 plays of Louis Armstrong singing "Bare Necessities"...
God save me.
All this equals me still not computing an MPC value correctly and not quite getting what happens when this increases and that decreases or when there is leakage in the circular model.
And to all this I say, bleh!!!
And happy freakin' birthday to me!
I must be maturing with age, last year at this time I had half a handle of Margaritaville tequila in my belly, had been asked to leave a few bars and was still partying it up at a gay club!
Dear Santa,
I can't read; it's a problem. I would love to read and retain info, savoring every word the author loving chose, however something I am pretty sure is close to ADD makes my reading adventures skimming for quotes. I basically read everything in Cliffnotes versions.
So, Santa Baby keep the diamond ring, convertible and please bring me the Kindle 2
Rae
So, Santa Baby keep the diamond ring, convertible and please bring me the Kindle 2
Rae
What drives me crazy
People who don't listen- especially when their disregard for your opinion is blatant.
People who are ruled by insecurities.
People who try to manipulate situations by switching their approach mid-conversation.
The good news is- these people don't have to be in our lives!
:)
People who are ruled by insecurities.
People who try to manipulate situations by switching their approach mid-conversation.
The good news is- these people don't have to be in our lives!
:)
Things I love in life!
Just a few quick thoughts!
-making spicy, fried chicken on Sundays! With biscuits and mashed potatoes. Mmmm....
-New Orleans, for some reason anytime I am there my soul feels like, "Yes, this is our place!" I think I fit in here: spicy food (nobody afraid of garlic, cayenne or onions here!); music that shakes your booty and soul simultaneously; people who may seem crazy, but laugh deeper than those from other places; buildings that have stories to tell; and nobody thinks an afternoon cocktail is inappropriate! People here seem to share my ideals in living intensely, having tons of fun and working hard also!
-my dogs. Really, they have taught me how to put another's needs before my own and that there is something bigger than myself in life. They dictate many of my life decisions. I feel like the Universe brought them to me to lead me down the best path.
-the beach. Sigh. Breathe in, breathe out. When you find yourself in water that is over your head and you realize you are suddenly on a lower part of the food chain than on land ;) it is humbling, as being a part of the biggest thing on earth should be. Cleansing, relaxing, reviving. If I can't solve a problem by going to the beach, it has no solution.
-dancing. When someone with a strong lead can lead me around a room and twirl me, all other things cease to exist- but the music, the man and I.
-making spicy, fried chicken on Sundays! With biscuits and mashed potatoes. Mmmm....
-New Orleans, for some reason anytime I am there my soul feels like, "Yes, this is our place!" I think I fit in here: spicy food (nobody afraid of garlic, cayenne or onions here!); music that shakes your booty and soul simultaneously; people who may seem crazy, but laugh deeper than those from other places; buildings that have stories to tell; and nobody thinks an afternoon cocktail is inappropriate! People here seem to share my ideals in living intensely, having tons of fun and working hard also!
-my dogs. Really, they have taught me how to put another's needs before my own and that there is something bigger than myself in life. They dictate many of my life decisions. I feel like the Universe brought them to me to lead me down the best path.
-the beach. Sigh. Breathe in, breathe out. When you find yourself in water that is over your head and you realize you are suddenly on a lower part of the food chain than on land ;) it is humbling, as being a part of the biggest thing on earth should be. Cleansing, relaxing, reviving. If I can't solve a problem by going to the beach, it has no solution.
-dancing. When someone with a strong lead can lead me around a room and twirl me, all other things cease to exist- but the music, the man and I.
Thoughts post 1st valentines day con no man
I spent the morning protesting a nasty coal plant and playing tennis with friends. Then I worked out at the gym, came home, poured a glass of sauvignon blanc and took the longest bubble bath in history while listening to Jack Johnson.
Romantic, no.
Relaxing and lovely, yes!
Good points- I wasn't disappointed by myself.
Bad points- a little lonely towards the sleeping part of the evening.
Se la vie.
Couldn't ask for much more than I have.
:)
Life goes on, no?
Romantic, no.
Relaxing and lovely, yes!
Good points- I wasn't disappointed by myself.
Bad points- a little lonely towards the sleeping part of the evening.
Se la vie.
Couldn't ask for much more than I have.
:)
Life goes on, no?
I dunno why?
1. My uncle once- I don't really know my uncles. One is a vegan and one lives in Dallas.
2. Never in my life have I- sang karaoke, but I have been working on my courage, I think the time is upon us very soon!
3. When I was five I- lived in south Florida and loved the beach.
4. High school was- painfully awkward, why didn't anyone tell me you had to talk to people to make friends?
5. I will never forget to- brush my teeth. I am a dental hygiene freak! I have Listerine in my purse always!
6. Once I met- two abandoned puppies who changed my life!
7. There’s this boy I know who- has a smile that could turn your knees to jelly- I don't really, but I would like to know a boy like this!
8. Once, at a bar- I saw an old Chinese man play the hell out of a guitar with his tongue. Totally creepy, but freaking impressive!
9. By noon, I’m- usually in the gym these days or in class. On weekends, usually at the beach or in my yard.
10. Last night I- saw the Vagina Monologues for the first time. I laughed and cried. Then, spent the rest of the evening referring to my vagina as an entity. Ex: "My vagina wants a Guinness, y'all need anything?"
11. If only I had- known how to help suicidal boys named Sean.
12. Next time I go to church- it will probably be someone's wedding or a historic church in a foreign place.
13. What worries me most is that- my mother may never be happy and I can't fix her.
14. When I turn my head left- I see my lovely doggies and my closet overflowing with clothing.
15. When I turn my head right I see- the gorgeous red desk I recently painted and my gorgeous red I-pod with "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." engraved on the back.
16. You know I’m lying when I- claim I don't ever get lonely.
17. What I miss most about the Eighties is- nothing, but I wouldn't mind a do-over, so I could go back and try to actually enjoy my childhood. All in all, I am glad to be a free adult, some homes aren't happy.
18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I would- probably be Puck or Viola, depending on my mood. "If we the shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended that you have but slumbered here, while these visions did appear. And as I'm an honest Puck, if I have unearned luck, now to scape the serpent's tongue. We will make amends er long. Else the Puck a liar call? So goodnight unto you all Give me your hands if we be friends and Robin shall restore amends." (A glimpse of some of the useless information in my brain.)
19. By this time next year I will- be almost a college graduate and probably know where I am going to graduate school.
20. A better name for me would be- Lola, I feel like I would be a great Lola.
21. I have a hard time understanding people who- don't think caring for the planet is their responsibility, don't pursue happiness, or who care too much about money and power.
22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll- get a masters in geospatial systems and a doctoral degree in environmental engineering, probably.
23. You know I like you if I- make up a pet name for you or feed you a special dinner. I like most people though, I probably like you, unless you are an asshole. ;)
24. The first person I would thank if I won an award would be- Sean Eagan for teaching me how to be a better person, my family for tolerating me, my dogs for making me into a semi-responsible adult and my friends for all the smiles!
25. Take my advice- savor every day, every taste, every kiss, every breath, every note, every word, every embrace, every moment- experience your life as it happens. Love your planet and don't ever be too busy to fight for a healthy world! Don't hold onto anger, life is too short too be bitter and people will always get what they deserve in the end. Leap without looking! Do something that terrifies you as often as possible. Go to New Orleans and eat well, meet crazy locals and hear an old man sing the blues. And remember to brush your teeth- white smiles are purty!!!!!
2. Never in my life have I- sang karaoke, but I have been working on my courage, I think the time is upon us very soon!
3. When I was five I- lived in south Florida and loved the beach.
4. High school was- painfully awkward, why didn't anyone tell me you had to talk to people to make friends?
5. I will never forget to- brush my teeth. I am a dental hygiene freak! I have Listerine in my purse always!
6. Once I met- two abandoned puppies who changed my life!
7. There’s this boy I know who- has a smile that could turn your knees to jelly- I don't really, but I would like to know a boy like this!
8. Once, at a bar- I saw an old Chinese man play the hell out of a guitar with his tongue. Totally creepy, but freaking impressive!
9. By noon, I’m- usually in the gym these days or in class. On weekends, usually at the beach or in my yard.
10. Last night I- saw the Vagina Monologues for the first time. I laughed and cried. Then, spent the rest of the evening referring to my vagina as an entity. Ex: "My vagina wants a Guinness, y'all need anything?"
11. If only I had- known how to help suicidal boys named Sean.
12. Next time I go to church- it will probably be someone's wedding or a historic church in a foreign place.
13. What worries me most is that- my mother may never be happy and I can't fix her.
14. When I turn my head left- I see my lovely doggies and my closet overflowing with clothing.
15. When I turn my head right I see- the gorgeous red desk I recently painted and my gorgeous red I-pod with "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." engraved on the back.
16. You know I’m lying when I- claim I don't ever get lonely.
17. What I miss most about the Eighties is- nothing, but I wouldn't mind a do-over, so I could go back and try to actually enjoy my childhood. All in all, I am glad to be a free adult, some homes aren't happy.
18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I would- probably be Puck or Viola, depending on my mood. "If we the shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended that you have but slumbered here, while these visions did appear. And as I'm an honest Puck, if I have unearned luck, now to scape the serpent's tongue. We will make amends er long. Else the Puck a liar call? So goodnight unto you all Give me your hands if we be friends and Robin shall restore amends." (A glimpse of some of the useless information in my brain.)
19. By this time next year I will- be almost a college graduate and probably know where I am going to graduate school.
20. A better name for me would be- Lola, I feel like I would be a great Lola.
21. I have a hard time understanding people who- don't think caring for the planet is their responsibility, don't pursue happiness, or who care too much about money and power.
22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll- get a masters in geospatial systems and a doctoral degree in environmental engineering, probably.
23. You know I like you if I- make up a pet name for you or feed you a special dinner. I like most people though, I probably like you, unless you are an asshole. ;)
24. The first person I would thank if I won an award would be- Sean Eagan for teaching me how to be a better person, my family for tolerating me, my dogs for making me into a semi-responsible adult and my friends for all the smiles!
25. Take my advice- savor every day, every taste, every kiss, every breath, every note, every word, every embrace, every moment- experience your life as it happens. Love your planet and don't ever be too busy to fight for a healthy world! Don't hold onto anger, life is too short too be bitter and people will always get what they deserve in the end. Leap without looking! Do something that terrifies you as often as possible. Go to New Orleans and eat well, meet crazy locals and hear an old man sing the blues. And remember to brush your teeth- white smiles are purty!!!!!
I jinxed myself.
I didn't want to display publicly that I was seeing one person exclusively because I thought it seemed a little too soon.
However, in today's world you can only ignore a "relationship request" for so long before it gets awkward.
And so I gave in and now, I will probably have to change it back to single after about one week.
Is this a good use of technology? Publicized relationship failures for everyone?
Sigh.
However, in today's world you can only ignore a "relationship request" for so long before it gets awkward.
And so I gave in and now, I will probably have to change it back to single after about one week.
Is this a good use of technology? Publicized relationship failures for everyone?
Sigh.
Who wants to be informed anyway?
The information age offers us many opportunities to cause ourselves extreme pain. I know some people who can empathize with this in their current situation.
How can distance and time heal our wounds- when distance is an irrelevant concept?
When all we have to do is look at what is out there to see what we never wanted to know or visualize?
It's hard.
At least most of us will never have it Jennifer Aniston rough, right?
:)
How can distance and time heal our wounds- when distance is an irrelevant concept?
When all we have to do is look at what is out there to see what we never wanted to know or visualize?
It's hard.
At least most of us will never have it Jennifer Aniston rough, right?
:)
10 Years
I realized the other day, this year should equal my ten year high school reunion!!
Am I really that old? Wow!!
There were only about thirty people in my class, so I doubt we are having an actual reunion, but I did email a few classmates to ask!
:)
Am I really that old? Wow!!
There were only about thirty people in my class, so I doubt we are having an actual reunion, but I did email a few classmates to ask!
:)
A hidden sadness-
I moved to Austin at the beginning of 1997.
In April of 1999, the boy I had dated since February of 1997 killed himself.
I really hate springtime.
Why? The odds we would still be together are little, but the pain of him being gone still haunts me.
His smile still haunts my dreams.
I wish I could have known more about life then, been more perceptive.
But, I wasn't and the pain and shock remains in my heart. Some nights, I wonder how I got this far. Some nights, the desire to go back and do more is all consuming.
I always wonder- why?
And the answer is always cold, dead silence.
In April of 1999, the boy I had dated since February of 1997 killed himself.
I really hate springtime.
Why? The odds we would still be together are little, but the pain of him being gone still haunts me.
His smile still haunts my dreams.
I wish I could have known more about life then, been more perceptive.
But, I wasn't and the pain and shock remains in my heart. Some nights, I wonder how I got this far. Some nights, the desire to go back and do more is all consuming.
I always wonder- why?
And the answer is always cold, dead silence.
Why no ex-scrapbooks?
I don't know- seems prudent, doesn't it? Pages and pages of happy smiling no longer a couple on various trips and weddings, seems awkward.
Maybe it needs it's own scrapbook? That could work- or just a box to shove it all away somewhere hidden?
The photos came off the wall as it ended, that seemed like an obvious first step, but I just never dealt with the albums because it means rearranging like three full photo albums and it also has an element of finality that I never thought I would actually have to accept.
I never wrote after the breakup because I prefer to shove feelings into a closet and try to forget about them. Upon reflection, I feel this may not be the best system and could create future problems. I also avoided putting myself out there- as it was and is an amicable split, I questioned, how do I have a right to feel? But truly, it doesn't matter what I am allowed to feel because hearts are bad at listening to what we dictate and generally do as they please anyway.
Writing = healing, and healing is essential and allows us to truly move on. I wish I had written more, I think I would be farther along now. What is broken can, and will, be put back together, sometimes in a superior way. I send this message out there and I hope my experience helps those who need friends right now.
:)
Maybe it needs it's own scrapbook? That could work- or just a box to shove it all away somewhere hidden?
The photos came off the wall as it ended, that seemed like an obvious first step, but I just never dealt with the albums because it means rearranging like three full photo albums and it also has an element of finality that I never thought I would actually have to accept.
I never wrote after the breakup because I prefer to shove feelings into a closet and try to forget about them. Upon reflection, I feel this may not be the best system and could create future problems. I also avoided putting myself out there- as it was and is an amicable split, I questioned, how do I have a right to feel? But truly, it doesn't matter what I am allowed to feel because hearts are bad at listening to what we dictate and generally do as they please anyway.
Writing = healing, and healing is essential and allows us to truly move on. I wish I had written more, I think I would be farther along now. What is broken can, and will, be put back together, sometimes in a superior way. I send this message out there and I hope my experience helps those who need friends right now.
:)
I don't know what I want.
Right now I think this is my main problem in life- and it applies to all aspects.
I don't know where I wanna go to graduate school- near, far? Masters, PhD? What about my family and friends- if I go too far away, will I ever see them? But, what about adventure? What about really experiencing the west coast or the south? What about love- when do I worry about fitting that in? Which brings me to my next topic:
I don't know what I want in a romantic relationship. I don't think I can really be open to a serious commitment at this point, but there is a guy who is sweet, really sweet who for some reason really likes me. What is wrong with me that I wouldn't want to have a caring and sensitive person as my man? I guess I feel like it is too soon to really move on, but why? Which brings me to my next topic:
I haven't cleaned out my scrapbooks yet- what do you do with a lifetime of memories? If we actually are friends, do I get to leave the pictures there? Obviously, I need to at least go extract any kissing type photos, but to do that I gotta stroll down memory lane and that may require a bottle of wine and the help of a girlfriend.
I think I will at least take that step this weekend. It's time, right?
I don't know where I wanna go to graduate school- near, far? Masters, PhD? What about my family and friends- if I go too far away, will I ever see them? But, what about adventure? What about really experiencing the west coast or the south? What about love- when do I worry about fitting that in? Which brings me to my next topic:
I don't know what I want in a romantic relationship. I don't think I can really be open to a serious commitment at this point, but there is a guy who is sweet, really sweet who for some reason really likes me. What is wrong with me that I wouldn't want to have a caring and sensitive person as my man? I guess I feel like it is too soon to really move on, but why? Which brings me to my next topic:
I haven't cleaned out my scrapbooks yet- what do you do with a lifetime of memories? If we actually are friends, do I get to leave the pictures there? Obviously, I need to at least go extract any kissing type photos, but to do that I gotta stroll down memory lane and that may require a bottle of wine and the help of a girlfriend.
I think I will at least take that step this weekend. It's time, right?
Such BS!
You know, I just realized how much I filter myself on my blog- and I say I am done filtering!!!
From now on I will try to write about what is really on my mind because this is my place for expression and if people don't wanna hear it, then they should keep their noses out of my business!!!
That's all!
:)
From now on I will try to write about what is really on my mind because this is my place for expression and if people don't wanna hear it, then they should keep their noses out of my business!!!
That's all!
:)
Ah vacation...
There is something to be said for going to bed late, sleeping in, having nothing to do and accomplishing absolutely nothing for a few days every so often.
Ahhhh.....
very nice.
:)
Ahhhh.....
very nice.
:)
Ya know-
As delightful as they may be, I just don't think I have time in my life to mess with men. Trouble, the lot of 'em! Too much trouble for my taste.
I can more than keep myself busy with my life and my needs- I can't see fitting time to cater to someone else. I like my free time free for anything I choose.
I have never really been able to imagine myself in a marriage. I have certainly dreamed about it at times, but a couple misplaced socks and someone's dirty underwear on the floor were always a quick snap back to reality! I barely like cleaning up after my self!
I don't like sharing my bed with anyone but my dogs. I don't like hearing sports on the tv. I don't like discovering a mess in the bathroom or kitchen not left by me.
But, I do like romance. And I can imagine passion, though I hardly recall it. I dream of dancing with someone who knows how to lead me around the room.
*sigh*
It's like the end of My Best Friend's Wedding... "there will be dancing"
;)
I can more than keep myself busy with my life and my needs- I can't see fitting time to cater to someone else. I like my free time free for anything I choose.
I have never really been able to imagine myself in a marriage. I have certainly dreamed about it at times, but a couple misplaced socks and someone's dirty underwear on the floor were always a quick snap back to reality! I barely like cleaning up after my self!
I don't like sharing my bed with anyone but my dogs. I don't like hearing sports on the tv. I don't like discovering a mess in the bathroom or kitchen not left by me.
But, I do like romance. And I can imagine passion, though I hardly recall it. I dream of dancing with someone who knows how to lead me around the room.
*sigh*
It's like the end of My Best Friend's Wedding... "there will be dancing"
;)
Let's go!
I had mentioned before that this semester wasn't too great for my body; in fact, I have never had this much fat as opposed to muscle on my body. I can actually see the fat on my arms, belly, legs, back... not a pretty sight! Not what a single girl wants to see when she looks in the mirror! I just didn't have the time to work out or be active, but after seeing what a sedentary lifestyle can do to my body I have resolved to step it up, way up.
It's odd because I don't eat very badly at all- in fact, I induldged much less than I normally do this semester! My normal chocolate supply remained dry all semester! I also ran the five mile Turkey Trot and the Trail of Lights 5k in Austin, but still here I am, flab city! I think what has been my biggest downfall would be the lack of muscle buiding activity and intense cardio- so here I go.
And to help stay on track and to join the rest of the gang, Cassandra has been nice enough to include me in her experiment!.
Thanks Cass!
It's odd because I don't eat very badly at all- in fact, I induldged much less than I normally do this semester! My normal chocolate supply remained dry all semester! I also ran the five mile Turkey Trot and the Trail of Lights 5k in Austin, but still here I am, flab city! I think what has been my biggest downfall would be the lack of muscle buiding activity and intense cardio- so here I go.
And to help stay on track and to join the rest of the gang, Cassandra has been nice enough to include me in her experiment!.
Thanks Cass!
New year, old reflections
Home finally- no more holiday travel please! Give me my dogs, my bed and the sweet, sweet pleasure of my home sweet home.
Last year really flew by! I feel like it was only yesterday I spent the New Year in Austin with my wonderful family and here I am a whole year later, but not feeling too much farther along in life.
I know life is fluid: a series of ebbs and flows which carry us along on our journey, but sometimes I feel like I am going in circles.
Which path to take in life is such a hard decision when they all can look so appealing for such different reasons. Some paths have the allure of the unknown; while others beckon at you, tugging your heartstrings to return back down a familiar path where you have spent happy times before. Excitement vs. familiarity. It's a gamble either way for sure.
I guess I don't yet know how to build a life where I get everything I want, but maybe that is the catch. Life is not a checklist or a mad-lib, but an adventure that gets written as we go along. In the end, we are the choices we make, the risks we take and the people we love along the way.
I guess I just better get out there in the world, there are new chapters yet to be written! Perhaps the best is yet to come!
Last year really flew by! I feel like it was only yesterday I spent the New Year in Austin with my wonderful family and here I am a whole year later, but not feeling too much farther along in life.
I know life is fluid: a series of ebbs and flows which carry us along on our journey, but sometimes I feel like I am going in circles.
Which path to take in life is such a hard decision when they all can look so appealing for such different reasons. Some paths have the allure of the unknown; while others beckon at you, tugging your heartstrings to return back down a familiar path where you have spent happy times before. Excitement vs. familiarity. It's a gamble either way for sure.
I guess I don't yet know how to build a life where I get everything I want, but maybe that is the catch. Life is not a checklist or a mad-lib, but an adventure that gets written as we go along. In the end, we are the choices we make, the risks we take and the people we love along the way.
I guess I just better get out there in the world, there are new chapters yet to be written! Perhaps the best is yet to come!
