Homesick for a home.

People say that, "Home is where the heart is," but what do you do when your heart is spread all over the place?

I believe as we age, we discover ourselves piece by piece and eventually we become an amalgamation of the sum of these discoveries; eventually if we try hard enough we get to know who we really are at our cores. Every discovery includes a decision: Stay or go? Stand or fall? Jump in headfirst or not at all? What kind of person am I? We choose and our lives are the sum of our choices. The person we have created then lives in the world we created and leads the life we have chosen. This all leads us back to our warm, fuzzy, safe place we call home.


Well for the last few years, I have been feeling homesick for a home. Most twenty-somethings probably can relate. Changing apartments, cities, jobs, schools; at what point do we get to say, "This is it, I am home." Home- it's more than a place, it's a feeling and I believe we do know where it is or where to find it, instinctively. Family and loves are spread all over the country, but thanks to the miracles of technology they can still be a part of our lives. We can now choose our homes knowing that, yes, we will meet again some bright, shiny day.

I have made my little apartment into my nest, my home, and I love being there. My heart is there and I feel at peace. I miss it when I am away. It's nice to leave home and go visiting, but it will be wondrous to return to where my heart is because I have found me a home...
;)

Mix margaritas when the eggnog's gone-

I am in Austin, drinking coffee spiked with Irish cream and hanging out with the family.

Man, I really love these people. My sisters are funny, beautiful, intelligent, amazing friends. One is currently incubating a nephew to be named, Connor. My dad is the kindest, most thoughtful, most giving and most fun loving man who maintains his amazing spirit whilst working too hard for too many years. He loves his family a lot and he would do anything for us. My brother in law is farther testament to how great of a guy my dad is; my sister only settled for the best! He is a wonderful person and I am so glad he has joined our family! My dad's lady is awesome too- but she has her own family stuff and won't be over until dinner tonight.

Mom and the littlest sister are far away in El Paso which is a bummer- but today I am thankful for who I have here and cannot believe how lucky I am to call these folks family!

Gotta go help make peppermint ice cream.

Merry Christmas from the family!
:)

Opps!

He always steals my drinks and it drives me crazy! He seems to think that whatever I have is better than what he's got. It drives me crazy!

Sometimes I make limeade for him; fresh lime juice, ice, water and Splenda.

He came to visit me on Sunday, his birthday. He got food poisoning Monday afternoon and has been sick ever since. I made him limeade this evening and he drank it all. Then he came into the kitchen a few hours later to see how the chicken and dumplings was coming along.

He saw my glass on the counter. He thought it was limeade and tried to steal a great big gulp-

BUT-

it was a margarita, a strong one at that.

Poor baby.

Opps!

I couldn't help but to laugh...

Take that chemisty!

Grades finally came in-

four A's and one B! I am pretty excited because it was a really hard semester- with all the money stress and adjusting to moving.

But in the end, it didn't turn out too badly.

I am a little scared for next semester because I will have Chem 2 and Organic Chemistry. Sounds a little scary!

(Damn Chemistry.)

Long Distance Sucks Ass, Happy Birthday Chris and other things...

Yeah, that's right I said it sucks ass; not exactly the eloquence I was striving for when I started this blog, but truer words have never been uttered. It has been over a year of long distance, so far, and who knows how many are left? There is no end in sight, our tunnel has no flicker of light right now; just total, complete, ass-sucking darkness.

There are days I know we both want to just throw it all away and give up. We get tired of missing each other and try to be mad at each other. It doesn't work though- because by now, we both realize that inside we are mad at the situation and the distance, not at each other.

It's his birthday and I wanted to be with him, but we had communication break downs and for the first time in years, we didn't wake up in the same bed on his birthday. Well, maybe we didn't last year either, but we left the next day for a week long cruise, so it kinda softened the blow.

Every year that passes I watch as he changes into the most amazing man. When we first started dating again, he was this body-building, Jagermiester chugging, frat boy with aspirations of corporate, white-collar dominance. Now, he is a health obsessed, coffee chugging, grown up man with his own budding business where he creates things with his two skillful hands.

Some things never change- he is still the most handsome and messiest person I have ever known, which luckily for him, tend to balance each other out.
;)

There is no one else on earth for whom I would endure an endless, ass-sucking, long-distance relationship for, but him and I cannot wait to observe what new amazing talents his 26th year will bring him.

Bad day.

It is a freakin' gorgeous day here in Corpus Christi, but I have ceased enjoying it due to the following things:

I packed, but I am not moving.

Miscommunication abounds and causes heartache.

I don't wanna rehang all fifty thousand pictures I took off my wall.

The maintenance man still has not come to fix my kitchen light which makes it Day Six without light in there.

And then I discovered chicken "juice" had oozed out of the package and all over fridge- ruining a few other items and creating a fun, unsanitary mess for me to clean up in the semi-darkness of my kitchen!

Miscommunication abounds and causes heartache.

Boo to today!

:(

I am gonna try and shake it off and move on, but I am really worried because I don't know if it'll all shake off. I sure hope so.

Bittersweet Symphony- part two.

Ha ha, I packed all night only to find out I am not moving anymore.

Wait that's not funny- that sucks!

Well, it's kinda funny.

Now, I get to spend my weekend- unpacking.

My friend wants to move in January, to save money; which I can understand. I just can't guarantee her I will be willing to move in January, especially after I finish unpacking again.

Maybe if the apartment in January is waterfront, maybe then, I would be willing to pack again.
;)

~Bittersweet Symphony~

Suddenly I am moving! Very soon; maybe Monday at the latest!

Sadly, I looove my apartment. It is perfect. Good sized, airy kitchen. French doors with palm trees out side of them. Solitude and relaxation abound. Quiet times and peacefulness. Ahhh....

In an effort to save money, I have been half-assed "looking" for a roommate for a few months- and well, I found one. My poor friend, Katie, got burglarized at her place and has a very understandable, intense desire to move somewhere safer.

So, I pack; a little grudgingly, but I know it is for the best and will be really fun!

I will miss my place, but I bet I will grow to love "our" place soon enough!

The times they are a changin'

The Aftermath-

I woke up this morning with this taunting me from the fridge:







I think you can almost see my stomach my mouth is open so wide.








Here I made them give me attitude.

Because it is raining-

*I give you money and send you into the grocery store to pick up 4 items. You can only pick one thing from the following departments... what is it?
1. Produce ---> blackberries
2. Bakery ---> some kind of crusty bread
3. Meat ---> New York strip
4. Frozen ---> whole wheat, thin crust Digorno pizza

* Let's say we're heading out for a weekend getaway. You're only allowed to bring 3 articles with you. So, what's in your bag?
1. bikini
2. jeans
3. toothbrush

* If I was to listen in on one of your conversations throughout the day, what 5 phrases or words would I be most likely to hear?
1. This is killing my low carb diet.
2. I need to study Chemistry.
3. I wish you were here now.
4. I miss you.
5. Do you girls wanna go for a walk?

* So, what 3 things do you find yourself doing every single day, and if you didn't get to do, you'd probably be in a pretty irritable/bad mood?
1. brush my teeth
2. snuggle with doggies
3. drink tea

* What are 3 things that you have in your room that have been with you for
the longest amount of time?
1. picture from New Years 2000
2. grandmother' engagement ring
3. picture from going out in Mexico at age 19

* You're driving down the road and suddenly you're hit with this sense of road rage. What 3 factors probably contributed to it?
1. someone is driving like they are drunk and freaking me out
2. people stopping at the yield signs on the access roads here
3. someone is tail gaiting me, when the passing lane is wide open

* Sweet, you just scored a whole afternoon to yourself. We're talking a 3 hour block with nobody around. What 5 activities might we find you doing?
1. reading
2. cooking
3. taking a long bubble bath
4. doing yoga
5. hanging out in my robe

* We're going to the zoo. But, it looks like it could start storming, so it'll have to be a quick visit. What 3 exhibits do we have to get to?
1. monkeys
2. giraffes
3. tigers

* You just scored tickets to the taping of any show of your choice. You can pick between 3, so what are you deciding between?
1. Daily Show
2. The Colbert Report
3. Saturday Night Live

*You're hungry for ice cream. I'll give you a triple dipper ice cream cone. What 3 flavors can I pile on for ya?

1. lime ice
2. strawberry ice
3. mango ice

* Somebody stole your purse/wallet… in order to get it back, you have to name 5 things you know are inside to claim it. So, what's in there?
1. blue America Eagle wallet
2. Burts bees chap stick
3. digital camera
4. cell phone
5. another burts bees chap stick

* You are at a job fair, and asked what areas you are interested in pursuing a career in. Let's pretend you have every talent and ability to be whatever
you wanted, so what 5 careers would be fun for you?
1. Chef
2. wedding planner
3. National Geographic Journalist
4. pilot
5. para-rescue jumper

* If you could go back and talk to the old you, when you were a teenager and tell yourself 4 things, what would they be?
1. Don't be scared to talk to people, they are usually really nice!
2. Pay attention in your science classes, please!
3. Pay attention to the people around you and their needs; you can help them.
4. Enjoy having no responsibility. (stole this one)

I tag Sara and Meredith.

Celebrate we will....

..for life is short but sweet for certain!
:)
I love to throw parties. ~LOVE~ <3 I considered a career in it!

So, I am having an end of semester, girl only dinner party tomorrow night-and I wanted to show off my crafti-ness.

Here is my work from tonight- place cards and centerpieces... I am such a dork, but I love doing stuff like this-

















The menu is steak with a balsamic reduction sauce, fettiucini alfredo, green beans, sangria, mango-raspberry margaritas and cheesecake with a mango sauce and fresh raspberries. Mmmm... it is time to celebrate the end of the semester, surviving six months in a new city and making some new friends. And hopefully passing Chemistry!) Wish I could have everyone over from all over the country! Maybe some day!

Sunday, bloody mary Sunday.

I have my two hardest finals tomorrow, Chemistry and Biology. I also have enough of a hang over that I can't study, at all.

I admit, it was irresponsible to drink margaritas last night, but my friend had boy problems and my margarita making skills were called into action. I created some lovely raspberry 'ritas and some even more delectable mango ones! Mmmmm....

I may be a bad student, but I am a good friend always willing to take one for the team!
;)

(Margaritas always fix the men troubles....)

25 About the 25th

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?

I love wrapping presents! Especially when I can put gift tags, bows, ribbons, photographs or ornaments on them to decorate! I am my mom's official present wrapper; she has me wrap my own gifts sometimes... I like metallic papers or ones that look retro. Target usually has the coolest wrapping paper around!

2. Real tree or artificial?

I have a fake, pre-lit, 2 footer in my apartment. It actually seems kinda sad this year- maybe it'll look happier once I put some presents under it. I like any tree, so long as it's bright, sparkle-y and festive!

3. When do you put up the tree?
After I relax from Thanksgiving- usually the next weekend.

4. When do you take the tree down?

Usually after New Year's Eve, by then I am ready to have my house back to normal!

5. Do you like eggnog?

I don't think "like" is quite strong enough to describe my feelings for the nectar of the gods.

6. Favorite gift received?

Boots, for the last three years. I can't wait to see what kind he finds this year!
;)
When I was little, I got a Garfield tent, that could be put up inside and a Garfield nightgown. I pretty much lived in that tent wearing that nightgown until Summer.

7. Do you have a nativity scene?

No, but I have reindeer ears and Santa hats for my poor puppies!

8. Hardest person to buy for?

Sean, my sister's husband. He started out as easy, but he loved what I got him for his birthday and Christmas the last few years- so, now I have to maintain the streak- and the pressure is intense!

9. Easiest person to buy for?

Switches every year. This year I lucked out for two of my sisters; dunno now what to get the youngest one though...

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?

Toe socks! Yuck- it just feels so wrong!

11. Do you have a favorite ornament on your tree?

I have a few favorites... the dolphin and penguin are no brainers. I have a Santa wearing camo that reminds me of Chris' dad. A old lady dancing holding a banner that says, "Let's Celebrate Life!". And the dogs old name tags. Those are the top contenders!

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?

Die Hard? The original Grinch. Oh!!!! Scrooged!!!!!!!!! I love that movie!

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?

I squeeze it in throughout December.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?

I don't think so.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?

Eggnog, cookies, lasagna

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?

I like colored; it looks so festive!

17. Favorite Christmas song?

Hands down- "Merry Christmas from the Family" by Robert Earl Keen. "Santa Baby" is a distant second.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?

I like how we can fit a week long vacation between school letting out for Chris' birthday and be home on Christmas Eve. I think that is the best plan. This year, I still don't know. I would like to be at home with Chris and the puppies and all our families- but, everyone is so spread out that it has ceased to be possible.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?

Grumpy, Sneezy, Sleepy, Chubby, Drunky, Flirty, Meanie and Rudolph... right?
;)

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?

I have a star. It is crooked, but I love how festive (again!) it looks.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning of Christmas?

One on Christmas Eve and the rest... ridiculously early Christmas morning.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?

Traffic around shopping areas. Crowds...

23. Does Santa leave gifts wrapped or unwrapped?

Wrapped unless they are too big.

24. Do you leave cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve?

Yes, of course. Maybe this year I will leave him something more diet friendly?

25. What's your favorite Christmas memory?

Drunkenly singing "Merry Christmas from the Family" with Chris in our cabin last year at the top of our lungs in the middle of the night was really fun! Also, the first Christmas my baby sister didn't puke on me was a happy one also (it was year #3).

I think Tyly and Meredith need to do this still. I think Cassie tagged Meredith already, but now I double tag her!
:)

Oh my god!

I got the amazing scholarship even with the horrifically bad interview.

Wow.

Now, I am dumbfounded again, but this time with joy; which is infinitely better!

Wow.

The Pudding Incident, part one.

I had an interview for an amazing scholarship on Thursday. It went... well horrifically bad. I felt like Ben Stiller in Meet the Parents~ it was as if my mouth and my brain were not connected- or even acquainted with each other!

The format of the interview made no sense to me: I was never given an opportunity to introduce myself or shake their hands, they never asked any "interview" questions. They just started telling me about the scholarship program- and it sounds so incredible, I am basically drooling. They are talking to me as though I have the scholarship; so I relax a little. This goes on for about 40 minutes. Then they say, "Tell us a little about yourself." So, I tell them a little- maybe two sentences- then they ask,"Oh, we had a question about your application essay; we are afraid you only want the money?"

I now have the most dumbfounded look possible on my face. I sputter... I have no idea what they are talking about. I ask for clarification; so they read me a paragraph which I thought was answering the prompt which was, "How would the scholarship affect me?"... well, I wrote the wrong answer apparently! I don't, at the time, understand what they are fishing for? I don't know what the answer is- so, I tell some completely unrelated story about wanting to do research- which I am pretty sure, scores no points.

Then they ask, "We see you used to work at Landry's. Why don't you anymore?"

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck...... Seriously, why did I even put that crap hole on my application? I tried in vain to explain thirteen hour shifts on Saturday ending at 2 a.m. and having to work the next day at 9:30 a.m. - and then it was hard to study enough- without just calling the place a crap hole- well, my strategy did NOT work. They follow this question with, "Well, if you couldn't balance working there and school, how will you find time to do your research?"

More sputtering on my part. I think I was about as eloquent as, "Uhhhhhh.... I like.... uh, well, I think... no I know, no... ahhhh.... uhhhh... ummmm.... I just will. I don't think it will be a problem."

**Niiiiiice. Very well said**

Then they asked me to write out my schedule for next semester while they talked about Christmas trees over my head and then it was over. I literally stumble out, tripping over the chair and my briefcase. No handshakes again- just a "We'll let ya know."

*sigh*

I send what I hope it a well written email thanking them for the interview and attempt to do some damage control in the email, but for all I know it is in vain- I will know next week. I do not feel good about this scholarship- I want to be a part of this program so much- I can't even explain it in words... apparently.

*bigger sigh*