Tired.

Why have I been so freakin' tired the last two weeks?

I guess ACL, school, work and life have just sucked the life out of me. I really thought that sans alcohol I would feel a little boost of energy, but I guess not. It has been a week and a day, I think, with NO ALCOHOL!

Not really a big deal, but isn't always harder to do something when you are consciously thinking about not doing it? It is just like when I am waiting tables and I tell the person, "Don't touch the plate, it is really hot." What is the first thing every single person does? You know what they do; they immediately touch the hot plate which then burns their hand because it was hot... like I told them it was. Yeah, you may laugh, but you know you would do it also! ; )

At work tonight, it was crazy, it always is; I basically work in a madhouse. So, it was nuts and I was dreaming of a getting off and enjoying few glasses of J. Lohr Cabernet (basically my favorite indulgence in the world) and a piece of our chocolate eruption cake (which is a rich, half cake- half mousse, all chocolate dream...) but, I abstained because I am a good girl. And, also held accountable by my blog.

I did, however, sneak a broken piece of cheesecake because I was starving and now I feel kinda guilty. Oh well, what is the point of living if you don't eat some cheesecake now and then?

On that note, I have probably lost about fifteen pounds of fat and gained a little over five pounds in muscle since I moved here, which I think is pretty awesome! My former job involved being anchored to a desk and I made enough money to eat whatever I wanted; so I did and too much also! Now, I run around on a crazy boat carrying trays of food and am too poor to eat anything but beans and rice! I can almost wear my "skinny" clothes again, and maybe soon I could even try to wear them in public. Who knows? But, I still have a ways to go. I am trying to become a regular at this new place I discovered on campus; it is called the rec. and they have machines where you can do this crazy thing called "exercise"... Yeah, I think that discovery may help me get back into better shape also! ; )

I have had this uneasy feeling of stirring in my soul the last few days, I feel like something is brewing in the Universe and I don't know what it is yet. Things are about to change... planets are aligning, stars are crossing.... I can just feel it. But, all I can do for now is wait in anticipation... and wonder what is gonna go down?

*sigh* I am physically exhausted, but my brain is wired. I hope I can wake up early and get some of my everyday, hum-drum errands taken care of before I have class.

Now, if only I could figure out why I have been so tired...